Posted by: docdenbow | May 27, 2015

The Return Of A Man Called Denbow

I have a lot more to say for myself than that tedious boring little, fat ennui who took it upon himself to give me – me????? – A pep talk. I have sent him and his porcine posterior to do what he was put on this planet to do – which is to serve me. He is currently in the local shop (for local people) getting a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Southern Comfort and several packs of French cigarettes. I’m not paying him, he owes me, and he really owes me for having the sheer bloody nerve in trying to hijack this blog. Ah, this blog! What can I say? I haven’t been as attentive to you as I may have been and what happens, ma Cherie? A little fat git tries to seduce you. Well that little fat git is out of the picture now and I’m back to bore you, irritate you, piss you off, make you laugh and more importantly if I can I’ll make you think.

I’d like comments from you about what you think of the things I write about. I look with envy at the blogs of others and see literally hundreds of comments liberally sprinkled, I have my faithful few so perhaps that should make me content. If you want to comment just use your name or Twitter handle and That way your privacy is preserved but I get some feedback.

I watch a lot of TV unfortunately and in all honesty some of it I consider to be outstanding and some of it is utter tosh. Other programmes are merely mediocre and others completely crap. I consider the utter tosh as a cut above the merely mediocre because the utter tosh gives me the feeling of harmless entertainment for the Countdown Generation. You know the sort of thing; Midsomer Murders, Miss Marple, Poirot, Lewis, Wycliffe etc ad nausea. For my sins I love these programmes, really. There’s an inherent politeness in them all that sums up my ideal vision of life ought to like.

Midsomer Murders

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

These programmes are set where everyone is nice and well mannered. They’re usually middle class and frequently obscenely wealthy. A bit like Downton Abbey where you know someone is definitely, absolutely, certainly going to get bumped off. The poor are poor because they choose to be and are oftentimes somewhat bohemian characters – artists, poets, novelists, and bloggers. You get the odd crazed musician, usually a female concert pianist who has gone bonkers after seeing her pet goldfish drown or something similar. The murders and the mortality rate per show are terrifyingly high. It appears from these programmes that these sceptered isles have several serial killers just waiting to be caught and they always are by the motley crew of detectives.

There’s always something odd about the murders in these programmes. No slashing leaving a trail of bloody and gore. No the victim is always dispatched swiftly and without much in the way of mess. It’s almost as if the murderer and victim discuss the murder and plot together to bring the deed to fruition.


“Sorry old man, but I’m in a bit a bit of squeeze at the moment.”

“Is it the usual thing, money worries?”

“Well yes it is. That and the illegitimate twins living in the next village.”

“Oh, that’s a shocker!”

“You see I bumped off Marjorie for her money, the housekeeper as she was a witness and now I need to bump you orf in such a way that it looks like suicide. You know the sort of thing; you can’t live with the guilt of killing them”

“Yes, I see you’re in a bit of a pickle. Why don’t I just bump myself orf, save you the problem and throw detective right orf the scent. I do have a terminal illness don’t cha know?”

All complete and utter tosh of course but this sort of tripe is served up to the nation’s geriatrics as an antidote to vowel, vowel, consonant etc.

I don’t mind TV like this they’re entertaining and as comfortable as your favourite chair. However, in a few days I’ll slap you in the face with a few thoughts about Storage Wars. Bet you can’t wait……

Ciao For Now,


Posted by: docdenbow | May 25, 2015

Denis Is A Bore

Way back when the world was young, Doc Denbow decided to get back on his horse and launch some kind of presence on the internet. He’d had little website before  “DrDenbowsRockbox.” This was on Freeserve web space and contained little articles and reviews about bands from in and around Swansea. It was a miserable failure. Nobody looked at it and like and abandonedbuilding it fell into disrepair and basically just keeled over and snuffed it. Then Denbow discovered WordPress and found that it was a piece of cake to create a fairly good looking site and as an added bonus he could rant and rave all manner of crap to his heart’s delight knowing that absolutely no one was looking.

He was shocked and stunned to find that as time went on the stats showed that people were actually reading what he was writing and this made him carry on. He carried on ever buoyed by a mania to share what it was that annoyed him and to express opinions everything. He posted stuff about himself, his life experiences, and his beliefs. Yet for all of the joy the writing process provided, over time he began to feel that he was repeating himself or writing just to get hits. He felt he’d sold out. Certainly the quality and quantity of Denbow’s stuff declined steady through the latter part of last year (2014) and to be honest he wonders whether he should carry on. He says that he doesn’t, but I’m here to sort the lazy sod out. He writes quite well when he’s angry and I’m going to make him angry by taking over his blog for a while and posting on it because the great conceited and lazy git that is Doc Denbow just can’t be bothered. He’ll be angry when he wakes from a booze fuelled slumber to find himself locked away in the shed with only a a radio playing John Farnham’s “You’re The Voice” over and over for company.

So for a while while you’ll just have to put up with me. I’m just someone who rarely gets angry, rarely has a strongly held opinion and is I am acutely aware that I am just a teensy weeny bit boring. I’m no a wit, raconteur or anything else. I’m just me and I have nothing to say that will remotely grab your attention. I’m not very interesting at all. I’m conservative in my thoughts and lifestyle and am a typical middle aged grammar school under achiever. I have had no impact on the world and my existence is both tedious and futile. My only success is my ability to fail unerringly in each and every one of endeavours. In fact I think it’s only fair to tag me a a loser or even a non competitor. All of this leaves me with a problem. Although my imprisonment of Doc Denbow may well get him writing again, I cannot think for the life of me just what it may be that I can write about in order to keep the great man’s seat warm so to speak.

The only thing I can write about is my dreams. For all of my life I’ve wished that I was artistic, able to draw and sketch. I’ve watched people draw, both on the TV and in person and with a few delicate swipes of the pencil a figure or a face or a flower just appears as it by magic. It must be wonderful to be that creative that a simple pencil and paper brings things to life, captures moments in time and creates a little bit of immortality. I’ve looked on the internet at pencil sketches and even online lessons. To this end I’ve bought artists pencils and two sketch pads so that I can have a go. However, such is my consistency at fear of failure the pencils remain sealed in their tin and the sketch pads are untouched. It appears that I although I have what is needed I’m not having a go; that’s me all over.That’s what makes me boring and tedious. I’m the eternal “I’m going to….” chappie who eventually tires people by telling them just what it is he’s going to do and then not do it. When I do this I hope they don’t recall my boasts of my plans. I know they do but they are too polite to point it out. They just give me a wide berth.

Anyway, I’ll wrap this up for now.


Posted by: docdenbow | May 23, 2015

Denis’ First Blog Post On Denbow’s Blog ~ A Plea!

TV, TV, TV. Television is my best friend and also my worst enemy. It is, I’m afraid, the thief of my time and the forge of my opinions. There’s so many things that I could  do with my life, my leisure time, my free time, but I waste nearly all of it watching TV. It really doesn’t matter what the programmes are, it really doesn’t, because television creates a situation where you live life by proxy. You do bugger all in real life, but you do watch documentaries showing other people doing stuff. Stuff that you could do if you actually got up and switched the television off and went out to look for life. Of course I’m not really aiming this preachy bollocks at YOU, I’m holding up a mirror to myself and looking at my own failings. As much as I want to think of myself as a free thinking pseudo intellectual, I’m not. In fact I’m nowhere near and I’m glad of it.

…………..This is a waste of bloody time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am trying so hard here to write something and I’m failing spectacularly. I’m writing in my own pretentious circle of ponciness and not being very entertaining either. I think I’ve lost it, whatever “it” is. I mean, I used have an opinion on everything and was a borderline master of the art of cynical criticism. I was faux naif, man, I used to be able to convey my ideas in 600 or 700 words. Now I can’t. I was the man but now Doc Denbow is an endangered beast and I find that upsetting. Doc Denbow is my alter ego, the better part of me. He’s the one with the confidence to say what he thinks. He’s taken seriously and people let him at least make his point before deriding him as a wally. Doc Denbow has had people in the USA read his thoughts and accounts of his experiences in huge numbers. Denbow is truly grateful for that. Denis, however, is struggling to help Denbow make his Lazarus like comeback and find the spirit within that made him able to write.

Denbow’s been finding it tough for a few months, more I think, and I have supported him and tried to inspire him. I pushed and pushed him to write about the general election because I felt that this was the perfect opportunity and the best way for Denbow to make his comeback, his reappearance and regeneration as a blogger. All of my efforts were to be in vain as Denbow, ever the rebel, told me that everyone would be at it. Slagging off the Four Horsemen Of The Political Apocalypse was far too easy, he said, he needed more. Much more. He told me that he more than simple critiques of political posturing. He told me that he needed to move on from reality tv and of what he has written of before. He told me many things, but he couldn’t explain through the haze of his tears where all of his creativity has gone.

Denbow and I have scrolled through his Twitter timeline, looked at hashtags in search of something or someone that he could slag off. Together we’ve looked at the news, we’ve watched television together. Denbow with his Jack Daniels and Marlboro, and me with tea and biscuits. I point at the screen with all the enthusiasm I can must muster exhorting the great man to great out the trust Lenovo and share his thoughts. Time after time I fail.

I’ve even come from work and found the great man listening to Classic FM. I really think that he is almost beyond help and needs counselling, especially as we very nearly came to blows in the past few days. I tried some tough love and I asked him, asked him outright, how the hell he could be a writer or a blogger or whatever the hell he thinks he is when he’s been doing neither I told him that he either had to get out of my brainspace or get act together and actually earn his keep. How did he he react? He didn’t to be honest, he just told me to please myself and if I wanted him to ride off into the sunset then that’s just what he’d do.

This mystical character whose name was dreamt up after watching Gunfight At The OK Corral looked at sadly and told me that even the toughest gunslinger gets tired. Every gunslinger needs to holster the Colts and clean the Winchester whilst considering how best to take down the bad guy.

Let’s see if I can get Denbow back on his horse,


Posted by: docdenbow | May 4, 2015

Taking The Easy Way Out

English: An alternative map showing the result...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For the past few weeks I’ve kept my opinions on almost everything firmly to myself. Furthermore, I have been pretty contented and happy in my life. Everything has been, as they say, cool. nothing much has happened of any consequence to me and mine so I really do not have a lots to say or write about. I half made up my mind to write about the General Election campaign(s) but then thought that it would be too much like hard work so I decided not to bother after all. Yes, I took the easy way out. That’s one of my hobbies and personal traits that is. I love not bothering and taking the easy way out. It generally removes all of the stress and generally negates the need for gentle massages and having your feet rubbed. Warm baths with scented candles become an irrelevance as you just park yourself in your favourite spot and generally do bugger all.

English: Photograph of a man massaging a woman...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You don’t have to announce your plans to the world because you don’t have any. You also save time and energy because the manufacturing process for plans and announcements can be quite taxing. I think that simply put I have dropped out of life to go to the hippy kingdom that is my head. That is not to say that my days pass me by as if I’m have been lobotomized. I have watched a bit of TV, read the odd book and listened to the wireless. My life is so exciting that last Saturday I patiently took some two and a half hours updating my BlackBerry Q5 to the latest version of OS10. That was a most satisfying experience for me.

I wonder what has caused this complete and utter torpor? My little brain used to be alive with ideas and hare brained schemes. I had excitement in my mind and had a great joie de vivre from the plans that I made but knew deep down I would never ever realize. That was never the point. That madcap enthusiasm has drifted away like smoke from a Papal chimney, leaving what? Yes, leaving what exactly? Leaving someone who has expectations of life that he knows won’t be achieved, ever. someone who wants to do stuff knowing that stuff will never be done. Someone who is seeing the sparking failing to ignite.

If that sounds like I’m depressed, don’t worry I’m not. I’m someone who has had to make a few stark choices and has had to compromise my wants.

Fucking horrible word is compromise.



Posted by: docdenbow | March 26, 2015

Man Or God? Who’s To Blame?

In the past, when things have annoyed me, I have tried to let things go. In the past I’ve been a bit of a doormat for people to walk on me without a care.

*Anyone who reads any of my ramblings will be able to guess what word comes next.*

*However*………However, I am a tad fed up of being treated as if I’m a clown. I’m not interested in trying to join in with things when it’s completely and utterly clear that my participation is not required and any contribution I make is dismissed.I have decided that as I get left out then I’ll stay left out and I won’t bother trying to ingratiate myself as it seems to get me absolutely nowhere. I could tell you what’s brought all this on. I could, but I won’t as it will make me sound petulant. Suffice to say my whole mindset is now irrevocably changed.

Two Airbus A319 of Germanwings at Stuttgart Ai...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Changing the subject somewhat to something important and worth giving some thought to, I expect that you are sharing my horror at the Germanwings air crash in the French Alps. The news that the co-pilot deliberately crashed the aeroplane is beyond my comprehension and has certainly reinforced my fear of flying. What kind of world or what kind of God would allow this kind of thing, and other atrocities around the world, to happen? It’s all part of of God’s great plan is it? Try telling that to the relatives left behind. Besides just who is God anyway? A simple construction made by the collective psyche of humanity, perhaps?

Voltaire said ~ “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him”?

Voltaire blessing Franklin's grandson, in the ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder why he said that? Was he bored or pissed or what? Was he trying to start a fight with a Priest? I don’t know and why should I? No reason to be fair, to be honest. I’m not one of those philosophers with a candle and a quill. No, I’m not that. I’m not even close to being that I’m afraid; sorry to shatter your illusions so cruelly. In a nutshell I am unable, with my extremely limited intellect, take Mr. Voltaire to task for his statement. You know, ask him to explain it and back it up with some facts and diagrams even. I’m a bit too dense to do that. Anyway I don’t know where he lives and he’s dead. Voltaire wasn’t even his name, I guessed that much, as it sounds a bit too cool. No, his name was François-Marie Arouet and he died in 1778 so arguing with him about God in a language I don’t understand would prove to be trying for me and him. Probably best to leave well alone and then I can say I had an argument with Voltaire and earned a draw – away from home as well.  Now, I’m not going into the whole “Does God exist?” bit at all, but if you put God in the dock and asked for some answers then I’m sure you’ll find that Jeremy Clarkson was more candid after his “fracas” interrogation than God would ever be.

Anyway, if humanity did invent God my thoughts are really quite simple. There’s lots of people in this world who feel unfulfilled or live in grinding poverty and see wars and famine and diseases ravage whole continents and and countries. We see people wiped out by a virtual genocide of the Third World and terrible suffering faced by those who are left behind. The motivation for this invention of God can only be to give a reason for the state of the world and some reassurance that this misery is all part of a divine being’s grand plan – the masterplan where God knows what he/she is doing.

For myself I wonder if this divine being has lost the plot. Whether the modern world is too much for him and as the centuries have rolled on it’s all got a bit too much. I think he needed help a while ago and tried to make it a “God & Son” type of business. As you know the “& Son” got nailed to a tree and that was the end of the family business. Since then God has struggled and blames it all on man and man blames God for not sorting it all out. That has left both God and man in a real Catch 22 situation each blaming the other. Of course thrown into the mix we have man blaming man.

Bloody fantastic, eh?

So what are the answers? You’re asking me? I’m just a slightly overweight middle aged dreamer who thinks way too much and can use what little intellect that I have to tear things down and point out the bleedin’ obvious.


Go and ask Russell Brand and I bet you he says “paradigm.”

Ciao for Now


Posted by: docdenbow | March 23, 2015

I Read The Huff Post Today, Oh Boy

“I read the news today oh boy” ~ courtesy to John Lennon

The Huffington Post to be precise. something I saw there this morning upset me a great, and to be honest it still upsets me – greatly. It’s also make me feel like a fraud, a hypocrite and someone who has meant many, many years of his life feeling sorry for himself for no good reason. That’s right, I’ve spent a lot of time practically wringing my hands and crying “woe is me” for no good reason.

What an absolute arsehole.

English: Stevens-johnson-syndrome

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So what was it I read in the news today that upset? It’s a story, a human interest piece, about a young woman named Khaliah Shaw. For whatever reason she was prescribed Lamotrogine (which is used to treat both seizures and bipolar disorder) and sadly, tragically and you may say horrifically suffered the worst of all side effects. She ended up with Stevens-Johnson Syndrome which begins with flu-like symptoms, followed by a painful red or purplish rash that spreads and blisters. Then the top layer of the affected skin dies and sheds. Khaliah apparently shed 90% of her skin and faces a long, long road of recovery.

The truth of the matter is that I have been taking Lamotrogine for a few years and have had no noticeable side effects. Not one. This drug was prescribed for to help to control the epileptic seizures I have had all of my life. I have taken Epilim for about 40 years and Lamotrogine was added as an insurance policy if you like. Yet, if I hadn’t have been such an idiot and taken my epilepsy problems seriously, then it’s entirely possible that I wouldn’t ever have put myself in a position where Stevens-Johnson Syndrome was a possibility, however remote that possibility may be. Yes, I have epilepsy but, and it’s a huge but, given my past drinking habits it’s something that has been surprisingly mild. True the seizures when I’ve had them have been Grand Mal but my lifestyle always put me in danger of a seizure happening.

Reading about Khaliah Shaw has made me realize what a tosser I have been. I have used epilepsy as an excuse for everything that has gone wrong in my life, rather than embracing the condition as part of me and living in a way where I would’ve been able to perhaps beat it by making the best possible lifestyle choices. You live and learn, eh?

That’s what it’s all about about, I suppose, “lifestyle choices.” Most of us are free to choose what we do with our lives, how we live. Most of us are in a position to make things happen and make some changes in their life. Some of those changes can be more radical than others, but changes can be made. For the sake of argument, it’s no use if you have unfulfilled ambitions if you don’t try to do something about. Of course the ambition has to be realistic, it’s no good saying that you want to be guitarist in Bon Jovi for example, but there must be something that you’d like to and you’re the only one who can make it happen. The question is do  you want it enough and is it worth it, the achievement you know? Only one way you’ll find that out.

Do I have have ambitions? No, I don’t think I do. Not for me personally anyhow. I have “pipedream” ambitions that I know I’ll never fulfill, but there is nothing wrong with daydreaming is there? The only ambition that I have is that I’d love to be a published writer. Realistically that’ll never happen because amongst other reasons I ain’t got the staying power to write anything worthwhile. Besides I’m not even sure that I can write well enough to sustain much more than a couple of thousand words anyway.

And on that note.

Ciao For Now


Posted by: docdenbow | March 23, 2015

Glad You Cleared That One Up Mr Amin

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it all before haven’t I? Haven’t we, rather. Another, yet another bloody politician apparently up to no good to climb further and further up the slippery pole of corruption. Bloody hell, can somebody tell me what’s so good about Dudley North that someone would manipulate, connive and get up to all kinds of shenanigans to become the serving MP? It’s hardly Virginia Water is it? Perhaps it’s the diamond mine under Wren’s Nest or the gold in them thar hills of Sedgley Beacon.

Afzal Amin, Tory candidate for Dudley North, is accused of plotting with the English Defence League and as a result Davey Camoron has had him suspended PDQ. Mr Amin is accused of plotting with the EDL to announce a march in Dudley North and then to scrap it to allow him to take credit. He apparently told the BBC he denied it was fake, saying it would have been a “catalyst to bring people together”.


Of all people EDL founder Tommy Robinson, filmed a meeting with  Mr Amin and shopped him to The Mail On Sunday as was using the EDL and Mr Amin as good as admitted what he’d been up to stating “It was simply a way of building confidence between communities.”

So that’s ok then, glad you cleared that one up Mr Amin.

UKIP is waiting for you…………there are vacancies.

Ciao For Now


Posted by: docdenbow | March 22, 2015

Morals? Society Has None

The UK is full of the pig ignorant, who do not have a thirst for knowledge, they merely want to have their blinkered views reinforced in any way available.Sadly for the rest of us there are many ways that these residents of Middle England can have their views validated. They are the goggle eyed goons who chunter on and on spouting their intransigent views at anyone prepared to listen; and often at people who simply don’t want to listen. Some of these cretinous bigots are given the oxygen of free publicity by the media and are lampooned by comedians and satirists. What they forget, however, is that these people are divisive, dangerous and self serving.

Picture of Jeremy Clarkson, on the set of Top ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Take The Daily Fail in its coverage of the Jeremy Clarkson debacle. It has changed its stance and views so many times that it is difficult, nay impossible, to work out what the story is. Totally inaccurate reporting hasn’t helped and speculation about Clarkson’s health, drinking habits and love life have inch by inch made it to the forefront of their coverage. This is making the whole episode more sordid and salacious than it already is.

Of course, like those chinless Tory MPs, you can hear Middle England “hear hear” ing every inaccurate byeline in The Fail. Why should we expect different? They are as free thinking as sheep in a flock and believe as fact in any speculation that passes as news. It’s not just the UKIP voting, blue rinse tweedies that are in my sights.

At the other end of the spectrum we have the bug eyed brats. These lager loaded louts alternate their days between playing games on their X-Boxes and petty crime. The ones that can read go no further than the football pages in The Sun (unless they’re from Liverpool) and sweatily wait for the latest news on some overpaid scumbag.

From time to time they venture outdoors, usually to procure some weed from another youth who is sweaty of face and sports the complexion of a smack addict. Having scored they go to visit some ex girlfriend to deny once more that the baby she has is anything to do with him; and that he’s heard rumours that she was “putting it about a bit” when they were together. The gap toothed dentist’s nightmare toddles off in the direction of a mate’s flat to get stoned hoping to find some way to physically express his racist bigotry en route.

Fox Real Time logo on Fox News Channel''

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

However, there are other things that perfectly illustrate the toxicity within our society. We’re in a world of blatant stupidity and hypocrisy when it comes to censorship. Fox News, for example, expressed total outrage when a Cub Scouts nature hike passed a nude beach visit and the kids got to see people, err, naked people. The images used by Fox showed a naked man walking away from the camera, but had a black box covering up his bum. This was done presumably to preserve our sensitivities, or rather the sensitivities of the American public. However, however, however, the same bloody Fox News saw fit to describe in graphic detail the execution of a Jordanian pilot. If that’s not double standards and really crass then I really and truly don’t know what is. It suggests that the people of the good old U.S. of A. would find non sexual nudity far more offensive than having to listen in almost pornographic, sensationalist and unfeeling detail about the demise of a fellow human being. Fox News should be ashamed of themselves for this and brought to account for its lack of humanity. This type of behaviour by the media has a moral compass that points into the abyss of social depravity and is a malignant tumour on a balanced society.

Of course all of this is just my opinion. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m the only one who sees these things and actually cares enough to feel outraged. Surely I can’t be, can I? Naturally all that I’ve conveyed above is just pissing in the wind as nobody expresses anything similar apart from the likes of Russell Brand and Charlie Brooker. I don’t that they have any commitment to trying to change things. They just use faux indignation to gain publicity for their paid for projects. To me it feels like they’re playing a game, playing the system for all it’s worth. Why does no one care? Is it simply the “I’m alright Jack” attitude or the ability to blame someone else for social inequity as UKIP seem hell bent on doing. Me, I have no idea and I won’t speculate. What I do know is things aren’t as they should be in this world.

You may think that I’m a reactionary and miserable old man. You may think that I talk total rubbish. I doubt whether you’ve even read this far. I know you won’t even click like or comment and tell me that I’m talking trash.

An unheard voice in the wilderness?

I think so.

Ciao For Now




Posted by: docdenbow | March 21, 2015


I wonder who reads this blog, and looking at my recent stats there aren’t many of you. Some may actually thinks that everything I write here is true or actually reflects the way I feel. I think that sometimes I come across as a depressed so and so whereas all I’m trying to do is be a bit sarcastic and ironic. I think that because I write as I do, it would explain why this blog of mine is haemorrhaging what few readers that it may have ever had. I fear that it’s lost many forever, especially as I have been posting infrequently. My Google “findability” has gone tits up and I genuinely, yes really, suspect sabotage on that front. However, I’m not nearly clever enough to work out how this may have been done. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter does it?

To answer that question for you, no it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter one jot. However, I look at other WordPress blogs with envy when I see how many readers actually engage by commenting. These bloggers must get loads of vistors and I bet the comments drive them ever onwards in their writing. For me it’s just the same ol’ same ol’ and it is very discouraging.

Perhaps I’m hoping to acquire something that’s not there and I guess that it’s the same for thousands of other would be bloggers and writers.

What I have to decide is do I carry on writing and posting stuff on this blog or pack it in completely? I can’t think what to write about anymore and nothing “rattles my cage” as it has done in the past few years. For example, this was the basis of a post that I started a couple of weeks ago and quickly ran out of steam. I just felt that I was writing what had already been written.

“Eh, Jeremy Clarkson., eh? What a card! Has a “disagreement” with some mush over steak and some posh yet weird spuds. For that he’s called odious, disgusting and much, much worse. However, I can raise a much more damning criticism at him. He insists that Richard Hammond has had his teeth whitened as if that is a crime whereas he is in possession of teeth so brown and tar stained (brought on by years of smoking fags) that you would think that they were wooden. All in all I believe that Jezza is a bit of a git, but Top Gear is a very entertaining programme and just about the only decent regular series that the BBC shows.

I do think that the BBC are trying to use Clarkson to show how “politically correct” they are. Yes, the BBC will show its iron fist and then suddenly remember that Top Gear earns masses of spondoolicks and then realize that Top Gear is in fact “the goose that lays the golden egg.” Meanwhile I reckon Messrs Clarkson, Hammond and May will bugger off to Sky or ITV and make some “car” show called “Flappy Paddle Gearbox” and Top Gear will be presented by Noel Edmonds (again) and The Chuckle Brothers until it finally putrefies and dies a lingering death. However, the fact that there is a groundswell of support for Clarkson is worrying as far as I’m concerned . A physical assault, no matter how minor, is gross misconduct and as a result that person should be fired. No “ifs” no “buts” Clarkson should be fired if he assaulted Oisin Tymon. Furthermore, his ability to upset the more PC sections society is second only to Godfrey Bloom and in many ways he would be an ideal UKIP candidate for Parliament. His careless tongue and misguided attempts at humour have offended many. Like Farage his beer swilling, fag smoking swagger makes him a man of the people – or so he thinks. Don’t forget that like many “influential” people, Clarkson was educated at a public school and has a bob or two.”

At that point I thought “bugger this” and promptly gave it up as a bad job.


Posted by: docdenbow | March 11, 2015

Starring Martin Shaw As…

My laptop is currently hors de combat so I’m writing this blog post as best I can on borrowed and equipment. Depending on how long it takes for said laptop to be returned to me, there’s a distinct possibility of me having to queue several blog posts until I’m able to publish them. I thought that you may like to know that. Anyway so while the lappie is away Denbow is struggling to get things down on *paper*, which is odd really. When I have the means to write, I have no idea what to write and when I’ve nothing to write on…..well I’m sort of bursting with ideas – ish.

I’ve been thinking – always dangerous – about television, or more specifically about what it is that I watch on television. I have had manic yet mercifully brief enthusiasm for the likes of Storage Wars, Pawn Stars, Salvage Hunters and even Finding Bigfoot. I’ve found Dog The Bounty Hunter’s adventures to be gripping and have keenly followed the trials and tribulations of Les Gold and his family in Hardcore Pawn. I’ve watched repeated episodes of the The Jeremy Kyle Show.All in all my choice of TV programmes show clearly that I’m a moron.

So why am I telling you this? What has prompted me to unburden my innermost feelings and soul to you, dear reader? I fear that because I watch TV programmes of dubious or spurious merit that the 42″ beast is eroding what’s left of what intellect I have left. In recent weeks I have resolved to avoid these aforementioned TV programmes, but I have to concede that I have fallen off the metaphorical wagon a couple of times. I also have to confess that I have only succeeded in replacing one addiction with another.

The cast of New Tricks (top left: Alun Armstro...

(Photo credit:Wikipedia)

It all began innocently enough as these things often do. It began with an episode of “New Tricks” a police show featuring crinkly old ex coppers as portrayed by Alun Armstrong, James Bolam and Dennis Waterman. They work to solve “cold cases” Their boss, a Superintendent, was portrayed by the positively delicious Amanda Redman. I watched the odd episode on whatever Godforsaken channel it was on and then came the TiVo series link. Before I knew where I was, I found myself mainlining three or more episodes a day. I tried to shake myself, break away from the talons of Supt Pullman and Co. but in doing so I fell into the clutches of Judge John Deeds. This brilliant piece of television finds Martin Shaw in the title role portraying a judge called John Deeds. Then there’s “Inspector George Gently” in which Martin Shaw portrays a policeman called Inspector George Gently. This is set in the 1960s which gives chance after chance to look for continuity errors and stare longingly at old cars.I added to this this heady cocktail episodes of “Rebus” featuring Ken Stott and his magnificent proboscis. His gruff Scottish manner and his ability to smoke, drink and be miserable at the same time was impressive. All of this was topped off by occasional foul language which gave me plenty of opportunity to tut and shake my head. I was then seduced by re runs of “Midsomer Murders” and “Lewis”, only to find that I would remember the identity of the murderer in the last 15 minutes of the programme, thus wasting 90 minutes of my time on this mortal coil each and every time.

And now I’m sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss of televisual despair for the other day I watched 2 episodes of “Doc Martin” which is about the life of a doctor in Cornwall. I found my finger hovering over the series link button on the telly box thingy and, I am ashamed to admit, finally succumbed, Diana Rigg’s “Mrs Bradley Mysteries” already set to record. To make matters worse I was idly perusing the *On Demand* bit of my TiVo telly box whatsit when I came across “Whitechapel” a detective programme starring Rupert Penry-Jones and Phil Davis as a mismatched pair of detectives. (It also stars Martin Shaw as Whitechapel -just kidding!) I munched greedily through the first 3 series in 2 evenings and have been left ready to pounce on the 4th series when it appears.

Anyhow, I have come to the conclusion that although these programmes are undemanding fiction, they at least don’t try to pretend that they are anything else.

Ciao for Now


« Newer Posts - Older Posts »


%d bloggers like this: