Posted by: docdenbow | May 23, 2015

Denis’ First Blog Post On Denbow’s Blog ~ A Plea!

TV, TV, TV. Television is my best friend and also my worst enemy. It is, I’m afraid, the thief of my time and the forge of my opinions. There’s so many things that I could  do with my life, my leisure time, my free time, but I waste nearly all of it watching TV. It really doesn’t matter what the programmes are, it really doesn’t, because television creates a situation where you live life by proxy. You do bugger all in real life, but you do watch documentaries showing other people doing stuff. Stuff that you could do if you actually got up and switched the television off and went out to look for life. Of course I’m not really aiming this preachy bollocks at YOU, I’m holding up a mirror to myself and looking at my own failings. As much as I want to think of myself as a free thinking pseudo intellectual, I’m not. In fact I’m nowhere near and I’m glad of it.

…………..This is a waste of bloody time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am trying so hard here to write something and I’m failing spectacularly. I’m writing in my own pretentious circle of ponciness and not being very entertaining either. I think I’ve lost it, whatever “it” is. I mean, I used have an opinion on everything and was a borderline master of the art of cynical criticism. I was faux naif, man, I used to be able to convey my ideas in 600 or 700 words. Now I can’t. I was the man but now Doc Denbow is an endangered beast and I find that upsetting. Doc Denbow is my alter ego, the better part of me. He’s the one with the confidence to say what he thinks. He’s taken seriously and people let him at least make his point before deriding him as a wally. Doc Denbow has had people in the USA read his thoughts and accounts of his experiences in huge numbers. Denbow is truly grateful for that. Denis, however, is struggling to help Denbow make his Lazarus like comeback and find the spirit within that made him able to write.

Denbow’s been finding it tough for a few months, more I think, and I have supported him and tried to inspire him. I pushed and pushed him to write about the general election because I felt that this was the perfect opportunity and the best way for Denbow to make his comeback, his reappearance and regeneration as a blogger. All of my efforts were to be in vain as Denbow, ever the rebel, told me that everyone would be at it. Slagging off the Four Horsemen Of The Political Apocalypse was far too easy, he said, he needed more. Much more. He told me that he more than simple critiques of political posturing. He told me that he needed to move on from reality tv and of what he has written of before. He told me many things, but he couldn’t explain through the haze of his tears where all of his creativity has gone.

Denbow and I have scrolled through his Twitter timeline, looked at hashtags in search of something or someone that he could slag off. Together we’ve looked at the news, we’ve watched television together. Denbow with his Jack Daniels and Marlboro, and me with tea and biscuits. I point at the screen with all the enthusiasm I can must muster exhorting the great man to great out the trust Lenovo and share his thoughts. Time after time I fail.

I’ve even come from work and found the great man listening to Classic FM. I really think that he is almost beyond help and needs counselling, especially as we very nearly came to blows in the past few days. I tried some tough love and I asked him, asked him outright, how the hell he could be a writer or a blogger or whatever the hell he thinks he is when he’s been doing neither I told him that he either had to get out of my brainspace or get act together and actually earn his keep. How did he he react? He didn’t to be honest, he just told me to please myself and if I wanted him to ride off into the sunset then that’s just what he’d do.

This mystical character whose name was dreamt up after watching Gunfight At The OK Corral looked at sadly and told me that even the toughest gunslinger gets tired. Every gunslinger needs to holster the Colts and clean the Winchester whilst considering how best to take down the bad guy.

Let’s see if I can get Denbow back on his horse,




  1. Maybe let Denis take Denbow hostage and hijack his blog for a while. He might book his ideas up after a fortnight locked in a shed.

    • Yeah, you’re right.
      Denbow is safely locked away for a while.


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