Posted by: docdenbow | March 23, 2015

I Read The Huff Post Today, Oh Boy

“I read the news today oh boy” ~ courtesy to John Lennon

The Huffington Post to be precise. something I saw there this morning upset me a great, and to be honest it still upsets me – greatly. It’s also make me feel like a fraud, a hypocrite and someone who has meant many, many years of his life feeling sorry for himself for no good reason. That’s right, I’ve spent a lot of time practically wringing my hands and crying “woe is me” for no good reason.

What an absolute arsehole.

English: Stevens-johnson-syndrome

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So what was it I read in the news today that upset? It’s a story, a human interest piece, about a young woman named Khaliah Shaw. For whatever reason she was prescribed Lamotrogine (which is used to treat both seizures and bipolar disorder) and sadly, tragically and you may say horrifically suffered the worst of all side effects. She ended up with Stevens-Johnson Syndrome which begins with flu-like symptoms, followed by a painful red or purplish rash that spreads and blisters. Then the top layer of the affected skin dies and sheds. Khaliah apparently shed 90% of her skin and faces a long, long road of recovery.

The truth of the matter is that I have been taking Lamotrogine for a few years and have had no noticeable side effects. Not one. This drug was prescribed for to help to control the epileptic seizures I have had all of my life. I have taken Epilim for about 40 years and Lamotrogine was added as an insurance policy if you like. Yet, if I hadn’t have been such an idiot and taken my epilepsy problems seriously, then it’s entirely possible that I wouldn’t ever have put myself in a position where Stevens-Johnson Syndrome was a possibility, however remote that possibility may be. Yes, I have epilepsy but, and it’s a huge but, given my past drinking habits it’s something that has been surprisingly mild. True the seizures when I’ve had them have been Grand Mal but my lifestyle always put me in danger of a seizure happening.

Reading about Khaliah Shaw has made me realize what a tosser I have been. I have used epilepsy as an excuse for everything that has gone wrong in my life, rather than embracing the condition as part of me and living in a way where I would’ve been able to perhaps beat it by making the best possible lifestyle choices. You live and learn, eh?

That’s what it’s all about about, I suppose, “lifestyle choices.” Most of us are free to choose what we do with our lives, how we live. Most of us are in a position to make things happen and make some changes in their life. Some of those changes can be more radical than others, but changes can be made. For the sake of argument, it’s no use if you have unfulfilled ambitions if you don’t try to do something about. Of course the ambition has to be realistic, it’s no good saying that you want to be guitarist in Bon Jovi for example, but there must be something that you’d like to and you’re the only one who can make it happen. The question is do  you want it enough and is it worth it, the achievement you know? Only one way you’ll find that out.

Do I have have ambitions? No, I don’t think I do. Not for me personally anyhow. I have “pipedream” ambitions that I know I’ll never fulfill, but there is nothing wrong with daydreaming is there? The only ambition that I have is that I’d love to be a published writer. Realistically that’ll never happen because amongst other reasons I ain’t got the staying power to write anything worthwhile. Besides I’m not even sure that I can write well enough to sustain much more than a couple of thousand words anyway.

And on that note.

Ciao For Now




  1. ah but you denigrate yourself too readily, as in, I bet nobody even reads this etc.
    I remember reading some short excerpts from you a couple of years ago, I don’t recall the exact details but was favourably impressed. You sound like a writer (you may look like a writer), next step a novella.

    In the past you would probably have had to self-finance your own short run so yourself and family would have the pleasure of owning your hardback in print. I know of someone who did that, my local librarian’s Dad.
    Today we are blessed with the internet; if you have content, you will get read.
    Good Luck, Baz

  2. Maybe just maybe Doc you are too busy living, paying a mortgage and generally making ends meet I am sure all you need is time, time to gather your thoughts time to put them in order and then the time to write them down. Keep the faith Doc with your understanding of the English language and your elequent use of it I am sure your time will come. It or you just need TIME.

  3. Most of our dreams are pipe dreams mate. Hobbies and interests and a normal life is good enough for me. Success and money are all well and good but they cannot replace family and friends.

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