Posted by: docdenbow | January 5, 2015

Who The Hell Is Giorgio Tsoukalos?

At some point in this new year we will see in the press or television some story about a UFO sighting. If the tale makes it to the dailies then it’s likely that the eyewitness evidence is at least newsworthy and is not supplied by a slack jawed drooling nutjob. Seeing something weird or unidentifiable in the sky doesn’t mean that you need to be in a padded cell, no not all. It may just be that you don’t recognize or understand what you’re seeing, or indeed you may see just what you want to see. That’s fair enough, I suppose. I mean you see some object flying around and you don’t know what it is then it’s an Unidentified Flying Object and it’s not necessarily full of little green (or any colour you like) men.

title screenshot

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the nomenclature of the unknown it seems that “UFO” means an alien. I think that is an unsound assumption to make as there is no reason to suspect that aliens have ever paid us a visit in a flying object that is not recognized – unless you think that the 1947 Roswell Incident counts. That’s the whole thing about extraterrestrial life in my opinion; you’re either a believer or a non believer – or at least a sceptic. What am I? Well, that’s not really the point here, that’s not what I’m talking about.

Grainy B&W image of supposed UFO, Passoria, Ne...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The belief in the existence of extraterrestrials requires a faith with little or no empirical evidence and I don’t have that faith. In other words if you believe, then you’ll find what little evidence that is lying around and use it to try and back up your assertions. It’s not just the ufologists who do this, it’s also the crypto-zoologists and Sasquatch hunters who use scant evidence to reinforce a belief. Those folks are essentially researchers, who do try to investigate and find true irrefutable evidence. However, there are those that manufacture evidence. These are the loony tune nut jobs. These chaps, and yes they’re bound to be chaps, manufacture evidence to back up their spurious claims. They believe in the veracity of other made up stuff and authenticate each other’s totally bollocks theories by writing about them on their websites and blogs. From time to time their stupid theories are backed up by “experts” who used to be pilots, rocket engineers, employees of NASA or worked at Area 51 and share the common traits that they are attention seeking pathological liars. My personal favourites are the experts whose thinking is clearly on the edge of reality. Some of these have made themselves a small fortune by espousing ridiculous theories. They are masters of weighing up one side of a story and leaping to a conclusion that they assert is true just because they think it is. The leader in this field is none other than Giorgio Tsoukalos. I hear you all utter one question………..

“Who the hell is Giorgio Tsoukalos?”

Giorgio is an interesting chap. Maybe interesting is not the right word. Give me a moment and I’ll have a little think about a more appropriate adjective. Mmm, got it! The perfect adjective for Giorgio is “pillock.” He’s crazy, mad, unhinged and illogical Captain. He makes less sense than a bottle of chips and has the intellectual capacity of a Sinclair C5. He is one of the experts on “Ancient Aliens” that is broadcast on the History Channel and quite frankly I find him a bit scary. He has this unshakeable belief, in spite of bugger all in the way of evidence, that beings from wherever visited this mortal coil and set humanity on its way.  In spite of finding nothing particularly plausible to back this up, Giorgio offers a wide eyed smirk and asserts that our ancestors were, visited by aliens. His proof comes in the form of statues, tablets, wall paintings and such all of which depict, according to him, spaceships and/or aliens.

What I find a little disconcerting is the fact that Giorgio thinks that all of these aliens are “good blokes,” you know the sort of aliens you might take to the pub for a couple of pints of Carling and a game of pool. It doesn’t seem to occur to him that aliens haven’t visited us at all and if they ever did they may not be exactly friendly. As a clever bloke named Stephen Hawking put it –

 “If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn’t turn out well for the Native Americans. … We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet.”

But, of course they came to earth. They’re fine fellows, the females loved them and had sex with them to breed bald talking monkeys who walked upright, smoked fags and watched Jeremy Kyle on the TV. Well that’s the kind of thing that Giorgio says and he must be right because he has a scientific background doesn’t he? He’s a clever man, right? Well maybe. He has studied, according to his Wikipedia page, and is a 1998 graduate of Ithaca College in Ithaca, New York, with a bachelor’s degree in sports information and communication. For several years in the early 2000s, he served as a bodybuilding promoter in IFBB sanctioned contests, including Mr. Olympia. Hmm, so the ability to gather together a group of oily musclemen together to do some synchronized flexing makes for a good background in scientific and historical research does it?

Anyway for Now,

That’s It,


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