Posted by: docdenbow | August 17, 2014

The Pursuit Of Happiness


In all of my life, I’ve never been anywhere. My travels are done on the television or in books or maybe in my dreams. I know there are places that I’d like to visit; things that I’d like to see that I never will. I know also I’ll never own a Porsche or an Aston Martin and am highly unlikely to have the chance to actually drive one. That realization comes I believe with age and a certain fatalism creeps in to your thought processes.

That’s not to say I’ve got the metaphorical noose around my neck, more a case of “a man has got to know his limitations.” At one time thoughts like that, the concepts of limited opportunities, would have depressed me. I would have been very sad and felt sorry for myself and bemoaned my decline into middle age and the erosion of my body’s capabilities, my ambitions, my drive and will to succeed. When I was younger I wanted success to success’ sake. I wanted to puff my chest out and shout “look at me, look at me!” as an attempt to show how happy I was. Now success to me means something completely different. I no longer feel the need to do things in order to get approval from my peers. I longer have the ambition to be something, or someone.

I am someone……I’m me.

Identity conceptual view

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have my own sense of identity; I know just where it is that I fit in this world. I know who I am and I know what I want. I know what’s important and I am aware of what it is that’s truly trivial. I can recognize people who deserve my attention and time and I can differentiate between those and the emotional leeches who suck the life out of you by bringing you down to there miserable level or by simply telling you lies to make you empathise with and show sympathy for their plight.

That’s 325 words I’ve written above to what point? Is it a mission statement or is it a summary of my mental processes as they are right now? Well, to be honest I don’t know. I have no idea why I started this and I have no idea where it’ll finish. You see I feel I don’t have “it” anymore; the sense of righteous indignation, the smug superiority or the vicious jealous tongue that I once had. As a result the inherent black humour is not there and I feel that I have lost (or am losing) the ability to write something that doesn’t disappear slowly but surely up its own self satisfied arse.

That’s the problem. I don’t want to write about politics, what’s happening in the world is far too tragic for the pontifications of an ill educated hobby blogger. I have stopped watching as much TV and although I listen to music a lot of music there are plenty of music blogs out there without me adding the occasional piece. I read, but short of mentioning the title of the book that I’m reading I have no desire to go on and on about a book and exhort you to read it. Suit yourself about books, I don’t care. When it comes to sport, I have to say that my interest declines with each passing minute as more and more importance seems to be attached to it.

Things happen to you in life, well at least they did to me, that can cause a seismic shift in your thinking. You can have your own personal “vision on the road to Damascus” and I’m talking in an allegorical sense rather than a religious one. Whilst it’s true that a religious deity may come to you and change your life and your thinking it is also true that personal experiences and events that are purely secular can act in exactly the same way.

I suppose that if that kind of thing happens then it does alter your whole mindset and allows you to grasp life and existence with a whole you outlook and sense of positivity. It enables you to have a more open and honest relationship with people that you encounter. It also helps you to be happy just being. Just being you and you can see where and how you fit in because in one way or another, we all do.

Ciao For Now

Denbow

 

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