Posted by: docdenbow | July 14, 2014

“Muddy Water, Let Stand, Becomes Clear.” ― Lao Tzu

I’ve not written anything new to publish here since last month. True I did upload a bit about Jimmy bloody Savile, but that in the main was written ages ago, so hello July! Normally a I feel compelled to write about something that I see or read or think and whack it here as a means of either letting off steam or sharing my views. I think that my mindset at the moment, and hopefully forever, will mean that there is a lot less steam and a lot less anger and self imposed pressure to write and post something here. However, this is getting us nowhere is it? I mean me writing about why I’ve not been writing is hardly enlightening now is it?

Pavlina tries to calm at next to waves, yoga a...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What do about it? This is a good starting point. Let’s kick our shoes off (preferably socks too) and sit in a circle on the floor. If you can still sit cross legged then please do so – even better is you can sit in the Lotus (or Half Lotus) position favoured by students or practitioners of yoga – and take the hand of the people on either side of you. Close your eyes and breathe in slowly but deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. We’ll all try to do this in unison to achieve a collective sense of calm and relaxation. Clear your mind, don’t think of anything just allow your mind to clear and feel yourself breathe and the gentle tap of the pulse of those whose hands you hold. This clearing of the mind and slowing of the body will help you think more clearly and ultimately via the cursory contact with your fellows that in the main we are all fundamentally the same with the similar hopes and fears, the similar needs and desires. I don’t do Yoga or sit in a circle holding hands with people but I do sit quietly on my own just breathing deeply, eyes closed, to clear my mind and once I get up to continue my day I can be far more productive.

Some people would tell me that what I’m doing is praying, emptying my mind and relaxing my body to let some deity enter my consciousness. I don’t think that that is the case. Whilst it’s true that in times of crisis or death of a loved one people will congregate together in a religious edifice and genuine feel the spirituality of the occasion and indeed draw comfort from it, I’m not sure in my own mind that it has anything to do with the existence, or otherwise, of God. It’s the humanity, the shared experience of a momentous occasion with your fellows something you can extrapolate from our little hand holding relaxation experiment.

We all build barriers around ourselves. Barriers of false privacy which can be lowered. Experiences and feelings should be shared. For example, I’ve noticed recently that conversations between people are not really conversations. I’m not sure what a conversation actually is and whether there is any point or reason for having them apart from a verbal “Hello, I’m over here, I’m alive.” Do we actually know how to converse or is it merely an exchange of information? For my own part I’m not sure as most *manly* conversations seem to a complete and utter waste of time. Men’s conversations are usually a series of questions and statements about things and events and rarely about anything else even if they are close friends. In my (limited) experience men find it impossible to share their experiences and emotions with other chaps. A man would never consider telling his mates that they feel emotionally drained or hurt or whatever as that would probably be viewed as effeminate and not manly and would see that individual chased from the social circle with cries of “backs to the wall! Here comes ******”


(Photo credit: Emily Lewis)

Women I think are different as they can talk about feelings and they can offer support when things aren’t going so well. Women can offer each other a real shoulder to cry on in a way that men are unable to do. More than once I’ve seen women who are friends doing each others hair and make up, sorting out fingernails and even cutting and polishing each other’s toenails. There seems to be a level of intimacy in many women’s friendships that are totally absent in men’s. Women seem to be able to offer each other advice often through shared experience and an empathy that men just don’t have. Is that the essence of being a woman, being of an understanding and sympathetic nature? I don’t know – I really don’t.

Does that mean that all men talk can just about football and all women spend their entire lives giving each other pedicures? I know I’ve made some really sweeping generalisations her, but in terms of the basic stereotypes I don’t think that I’m a million miles away from the truth.

Ciao, For Now


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  1. I too have taken your advice and now avoid pressuring myself to blog and tweet and write. It’ll happen or it won’t. Nice to see you post something though mate.

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