Posted by: docdenbow | June 28, 2014

Lizzie & Her Shoes

This morning I made a catastrophic error. I had made a cup of tea and plonked myself down at the kitchen table when I reached for my iPad. Before you worry on my behalf there was not no tea/iPad related calamity, just a grave error of judgement on my part. I checked my emails (none worthwhile) and my Facebook feed. I then checked my Twitter timeline in the vain glorious hope that someone had sent me an unsolicited @ message (no one had) so I closed the app. I tapped on the Mercury browser icon to see what the big wide world of the internet had to offer. For some reason I decided to visit that bastion of bigotry The Daily Mail. I was met with some earth shattering news as the lead story. This news at the time I read it was the most important thing that The Daily Mail could write about, it was top of the pile and numero uno. I have no doubt that your breath is truly bated waiting for Denbow to relate to you just as to what this story, this piece of high journalism was all about. In that case I have no choice but to tell you.

Queen of United Kingdom (as well as Canada, Au...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was all about Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and her shoes. I was flabbergasted that our Queen, our Monarch, the Head Of the Church Of England has feet and on those feet she wears shoes. Did you know that; the thought had never occurred to me? I have, in all of years of existence upon this mortal coil, never really given much thought to the monarch’s feet. Is there a Royal Podiatrist? It turns out that there is a Royal Cordwainer, or a pair of geezers who supply our Queen with made to measure shoes. Now I’m happy for our Queen that she has nice shoes and I’m happy that she can afford to get them made to measure, I truly am. However, I don’t really see that the Queen being particularly partial to a certain style of footwear that has barely changed across the years as being particularly newsworthy. Sorry to be controversial, but that’s how I see it. Some of the quotes from the article are preposterous.

“From the Diamond Jubilee pageant to this week’s prison visit in Northern Ireland, the shoes are a firm favourite.”

“The dress worn in 1984 is from another era, but the black patent shoes are becoming a fixture. Then in 1987 the Queen was elegant in Spain – and her shoes have since survived the reign of King Juan Carlos.”

“Her shoes have occasionally been ‘worn in’ by Angela Kelly, her devoted personal assistant, as they have almost the same size feet. But now there is the aforementioned junior staff member ‘Cinders’, who is the same size exactly. She wears beige cotton ankle socks when testing the Queen’s shoes, and is only allowed to walk on carpets. The shoes then get one trial run outside to ensure there is no slippage.”

That’s the thing about the press, and not just The Daily Mail, they don’t just notice they intrude. At the end of the day, bottom line etc etc does it really matter one job about the Queen’s choice of shoes? Why is it thought that we care that someone from TOWIE is sleeping with someone who is the mate of the bloke who failed to get in the X Factor? I mean who really cares? I suppose those that care have lives that really are very empty and they have to live their lives via the “glamour” of a TV Chav on holiday in Ibiza and the monarch’s footwear.

Oh Well





  1. Love your turn of phrase ‘bastion of bigotry’! It’s definitely that!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: