Posted by: docdenbow | May 21, 2014

Sheer Out And Out Stupidity

I consider myself to be smarter than the average bear, but on occasions I can excel in sheer out and out stupidity. Oh yes, I’m capable of doing things that are terminally moronic and in the past have been vaguely life threatening. These days of course caution and conservatism that comes with age has meant that I largely avoid placing myself in danger. Doesn’t mean to say my stupidity has subsided.

My judgement in day to day situations is also questionable in its nature. I must confess that I do find it difficult to tell when people are joking and have great difficulty in understanding whether I’m being taken to task for an opinion or ridiculed or teased because I become so intense. What makes me an idiot on these occasions is that I rise to the bait instead of ignoring it.

So I’m not smarter than the average bear am I?

Maybe not, but in many ways I am bloody clever it’s just that I’m clever in areas of total pointlessness. Off the top of my head I can remember trivial facts on all sorts of subjects, but I can’t remember what it is I watched on the telly last night. Everything that I can recall, remember and all that is at the end of the day useless to me. When you look at the big picture what I know there is no market for, that’s already been cornered by the likes of the working man’s trivia machine that is Danny Baker AKA @prodnose on Twitter.

To Mega Therion (album)

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So yes I can tell you that punk(ish) band 999 were signed to United Artists and their best track was “Emergency” and that Celtic Frost and Helloween were signed to Noise Records, but have little or no idea how to build a shed or hang kitchen cupboards at exactly the same height. That’s a bit crap isn’t it? Steve Perry was lead singer with Journey and had a solo album called “Street Talk” and Starship had a bizarrely titled album called “Knee Deep In The Hoopla” but what use is that when I’m going to struggle like buggery putting up some new garden fence panels?

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(Photo credit: alittleblackegg)

The way my brain retains information is crap, all of the useless sticks and everything else disappears on the breeze…..Maslow’s “Hierarchy Of Needs,” the works of Raymond Chandler. Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer. Compare that stuff with self tapping screws and flat pack furniture and what’s the most useful, eh?

So yes, if I could get paid for using all the meaningless and useless crap that floats around inside my head then maybe, just maybe, I’d be fulfilled and be able to push my chest out and have confidence that the stuff that I know about was worthwhile instead or feeling somehow emasculated by my knowledge of stuff that means jack shit. Who care that Cliff Barackman of “Finding Bigfoot” fame plays guitar or that Bobo from the same programme has a name that translates into Spanish as “fool, simpleton” *Sigh*

Jaysus, why do I retain all of this? More to the point is how and what motivates me to find out if I don’t know already? Why do I remember that Thomas Hardy’s short story “Barbara of the House of Grebe” is about a handsome young chap who was disfigured in a fire? Why can’t I remember anything important and useful? What’s more worrying is that there are whole chunks of my life that I have no memory of. All I have are little snapshots and there are people that I was friendly with of whom I’m sure I have no recollection. Is that normal? Usual?

What was I saying?

Yes, the *missing years* – what of them? Was I living in a bubble of alcohol induced depression? Not a clue on that one sorry; can’t remember. I think that times when you were unhappy the mind suppresses the bad bits to help you to preserve your sanity and in my case if I recalled every detail of the bad days I had when I worked in an awful environments then I’d either go nuts or homicidal….or both!

So yes, me with the great memory forgot to pre order the California Breed album! What an idiot!

Ciao For Now


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