Posted by: docdenbow | April 29, 2014

You Can End Up Losing YOU


Based on my last two posts here, I suppose that a few people that I know will think I’ve gone a bit mad. That’s not strictly true – I haven’t gone mad but I have been writing about things that I have never written about before and all that I have written comes from me. All are my own opinions and nothing at all to do with cutting and pasting from Wikipedia. I haven’t had the best of educations, but I do think about things quite deeply and endeavour to come to balanced conclusions. When I wrote about being happy in my own skin I was also thinking about your (and my) sense of self. In my view it is easy to suffer to become a victim of identity theft and lose who you were and still really are.

write or be written off

(Photo credit: Djuliet)

In the past on this blog I’ve written about myself, my feelings, my neuroses. Most of the time these types of posts have been cathartic attempts to cleanse myself and write out just what it is I feel. Most of the time these posts were attempts to stave off the black moods that have cyclically enveloped my adult life. I feel that for far too long I’ve allowed the opinions of some people dictate the things that I want to do. More than that I have never been able to conduct myself in the manner that I would like. I blush or get really angry when I’m teased. I’ve voiced my plans and ideas and aspirations and have yet to see them to their resolution. Sometimes because I merely give up or peer pressure makes me give up. My sense that nobody actually likes me doesn’t help either. In many ways I’m a mess. At my age none of these things are good for you. I’m not a young man anymore and I’ve reached an age where I am increasingly aware of my own mortality and have become aware that something has to got to be done. You go through life getting older and more intransigent and the person you were becomes encased by your position in the various circles which you inhabit. You’re the employee at work, the player in the team the husband and father at home, the brother, the son and the mate in the pub. But you end up losing your dreams, the devil in you, the lightness in your being. You become less likely to take chances and do something new to challenge yourself and how you think.

You can end up losing YOU.

YOU are the person that people love, YOU are the person that people like, YOU are the person that you should love because if you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you? This is why I have had to break the mold, try something new and get in touch with myself. Yes, I know that makes me sound like a hippy. I want to eradicate the bitching, sullen, false and angry impatient person I’ve been and step into a new skin and just be someone a bit more likable.

And I know just how to do it, it’ll work for me.

Ciao For Now

Denbow

 

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Responses

  1. Although you many be lost and mired down in your life, you still feel the passion to be more. Step out of the box, you don’t have to quit your life, just do something new, something to give you the zing again. For me it was nudity, first personal to deal with the body issues, then social to become more open and accepting. I’m not saying it is the path for you. You will find the as you get older, that path you follow will become wider and less steep. Mercifully people will expect less of you. Just don’t be afraid of change. Embrace it.

    • My next post is already written, it may explain clearly what is written here.

      • I look forward to reading it. Don’t listen to me, I’m not you.


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