Posted by: docdenbow | April 15, 2014

You Don’t Get Nothing For A Pair (sic)

Dateline : 12 April 2014

TV icon for WikiProject Family Guy

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Another Saturday night another evening of television. What’s it to be? Casualty followed by the News followed by Match Of The Day presented by Gary “FA Cup” Lineker? Well I would say I think not but I’m already watching Casualty waiting for tonight to blur into the same as every other bloody Saturday. If I’m not careful I’ll end up watching the

Family Guy and American Dad double bills which is pointless as I’ve already seen all of the episodes. I suppose I could read my Christopher Fowler book, but that doesn’t really take my fancy right now.

One thing I would usually be doing is obsessively searching the world wide net looking for the missing Malaysian Airlines MH 370. My lack of interest in scouring the internet looking for bonkers conspiracy theories shows a torpor from which I may never recover. In normal circumstances I would have expected that I would have spent several tedious hours looking on the internet for stories that all end with the same conclusion – we don’t know where the plane is. Mind you the MH 370 story has lost its place at the top story on the news, replaced by the story which will surely tilt the world from its axis. The story? Sir Bruce “Good Game Good Game” Forsyth is quitting something called Strictly Come Dancing. I have little idea what this Strictly Come Dancing is, but if it presented by a living fossil then I assume the knitting and support tights generation love it. What’s that? It’s celebrities being taught to ballroom dance and then competing against each other. Sounds horrid! Mind you even if it’s horrid it cannot be the worst thing on television.

Animation of the structure of a section of DNA...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Television on the whole has got progressively worse in recent years. In fact television in 2014 it is sinking to a new all time low. I mean have you seen this Mark Kelly offal called “Dead Famous DNA?” Well first and foremost it’s unfeasibly bad. Channel 5 has plummeted to new depths with this unbelievably bad piece of voyeuristic virtual grave robbing. Most it is so dimly lit that it brought to mind a particularly bad episode of CSI Vegas. The premise of this “documentary” is that Mark Kelly goes around the world buying bits of celebrity stiffs. Naturally the provenance of these bits is dubious to say the least, but it does make for truly appalling TV as Kelly and the director try to crank up the tension. DNA is then extracted from these bits to find out why the dead celebs were poorly bad in their lifetime.

It is here that I must ask a pertinent question, who cares? I’m waiting for the episode where the DNA proves conclusively that dead celeb was a woman (or a man if you know what I mean) despite them being recorded in the annals of history as male. It’d be a right laugh wouldn’t it? That’s the trouble with telly, it tries to add gravitas to things of little importance and trivialises proper real life.

Ciao For Now


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