Posted by: docdenbow | February 11, 2014

I Coulda’ Been A Contender

Do you know what, I really shouldn’t write any personal stuff on this blog. I would never go naked in public, unless I was on a nudist beach where everyone was naked, so I don’t see why I sometimes expose myself here in the way that I do, or have done in the past. When I say “personal stuff” I’m not on about taking the dog for a walk or watching Finding bloody Bigfoot, I’m talking about proper personal stuff. I’m not even talking about the time I had an abscess that was the size of a golf ball up my ass (perianal abscess the doctor said it was called) That’s okay to talk/write about. It might not be great to read about, but it’s okay to write about that.

It’s the OTHER personal stuff.

I’ve been giving this OTHER stuff some thought. I’ve decided on this. I’ll write it down. I’ll write it all down. I find writing down my personal angst to be cathartic and helps me to get a handle on some of my hang ups. I’ve written pages and posts of bollocks that I’m quite sure that no one wants to read or is even remotely interested in. I wouldn’t have any interest in reading about how some random 55 year old is feeling a bit down or frustrated or whatever the hell he is when he writes self obsessed garbage.

A bit like this really – the self obsessed bit anyway.

I suppose that I don’t have the staying power to write on the same subject day in day out. Moreover, my day to day life is a tad tedious so anybody who became a dedicated reader would be able to end their dependence of Temazepam. I’m a chameleon, a Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon even, so I write about what’s rattling my cage or grinding my gears or floating my boat at any given point. Sometimes I just take the piss and sometimes I force my pompous opinions on readers.

But it is my blog and we’re all friends here aren’t we? No? You support Ukip and you think I’m a twat. Fair enough I suppose – but it takes one to know one.

Michael Jackson

I could try to become a Tesco Value Charlie Brooker. Pointing out stuff on TV or in the papers and making comments that are witty, acerbic and full of oaths. You know know say *fuck* a lot. I could point out that Posh Spice Beckham is starting looking to look like Michael Jackson from certain angles leading me to wonder which one has snuffed it. If being a middle aged Charlie Brooker is out of the question then I could become a male version sort of thingy equivalent of Katie “HorseFace” Hopkins. However, my pockets are not sufficiently deep to employ a lawyer full time checking my Tweets and bloggie posts before I Tweet or blog them. For that reason I would have to say “nay” to being a male Katie Hopkins.

English: Photo of comedian Doug Stanhope taken...

My best route may be to try to emulate Doug Stanhope. (look him up)

His tagline is – “I’m Doug Stanhope and that’s why I drink.”

Mine could be – ”I’m Doc Denbow I coulda’ been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am – let’s face it.”

This crazy, fucked up world annoys me, fills me with rage. The politicians and The Daily fucking Mail whipping up a frenzy to inspire hatred and discontent. In fact it does more than disappoint me. It makes me laugh and cry at the same time. It makes me angry.

Jayzus, it just makes me so…………….ANGRY

The trouble is that if you care too much you pollute your psyche with impotent emotion and have to live with poison running through your veins.

No more!

And on that happy note.

Ciao For Now


p.s. This was written wearing sunglasses, so it’s not to be taken too literally (except for the golf ball sized abscess up me bum)

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  1. Its good to get angry at everything mate because it means you have brains. 90% of people are ignorant and therefore happy (it is bliss for them). Knowing that your employers are fucking you, your elected officials are fucking you and every single company be them large or small is bullshitting you because they want the cash from your pocket should make you angry. Other peoples idiotic attempt to get ahead with lies and games that you can see through clearly should make you angry. But those of us who don’t care for games and choose not to be taken in by advertising and political offerings and employer based smokescreens and bullshit should be glad… because at least we can see it! I’d rather know I was getting fucked and hate it than be getting fucked and saying thank you with a big ignorant smile on my face. Keep moaning and blogging, I’m gonna and I know I have nothing to say that aint whinging. But maybe one of the 90% might read something I write and they may stop and think. If only for a moment. Peace!

  2. PS rather than be the next Charlie Brooker or the Next Doug Stanhope why not just be the one and only, 100% original, Docdenbow.

  3. Ooh yeh gotta love a good rant! Maybe when people talk about you in years to come, they’ll say ‘did you know he used to write in sunglasses?’ But only the hardcore fans will know s

    • Gah, phone fail!

      But only the hardcore fans will know so they will pride themselves on announcing it at dinner parties and during rounds of Trivial Pursuit and do so with an air of lofty knowing.

  4. […] I Coulda’ Been A Contender […]

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