Posted by: docdenbow | June 16, 2013

Bigfoot – Is The Truth Really Out There?


Don’t we all believe what we want to believe? Don’t we all see what we want to see and hear what we want hear? Isn’t it true that our senses can combine and misdirect us, make us jump to the wrong conclusions? The maxim that “the quickness of the hand deceives the eye” certainly adds weight to my assertions. When I say “my assertions,” they are not my assertions merely assertions of others with whom I agree. We all fool ourselves some of the time.

You’ve got something like the Barnum effect. Subjective validation occurs when two unrelated or even random events are perceived to be related because a belief, expectation, or hypothesis demands a relationship. Thus people seek a correspondence between their perception of their personality and their beliefs. The subject I want to write about here is the search to validate the existence of Bigfoot.

In the wilds of the U.S.ofA. there are believers in the existence of Sasquatch, many people who believe wholeheartedly in the existence of this elusive hominid. These Squatchers are a subgroup within the field that is Cryptozoology and what a bunch of nutjobs they are. Their basic belief that there are bound to be different species and subspecies of animals and insects that are hitherto unknown to the “real” scientific community. Bang on there, that hypothesis holds true, certainly when you think of the oceans of the world which have barely been explored. But, and it is rather a large but, in fact it is a but of colossal proportions, these crypto geezers can’t go for normal things that haven’t been found yet. No, they go for mad stuff, creatures only spotted by the terminally suggestible who live in isolation and are invariably alone when they have these sightings. Some have even gone as far as taking blurry out of focus pictures and videos, none of which help. It’s also fair to say that the “unknown” creatures tend to be big, difficult to miss and would by definition require an enormous amount of nosh to keep body and soul together.

Which brings me neatly back to Sasquatch AKA Bigfoot AKA big hairy thing wandering the forests of North America. (BTW it’s 7 to 8 feet tall or at least 2 metres!) Oh yes, and it walks like a man on two feet. Evidence? Minimal and what there is, is far from irrefutable. There is an absolute zero in terms of physical evidence unless footprints count, which in my book don’t. So why is there a cottage industry led in part by the grandly named Bigfoot Field Research Organization yomping off the beaten track and spectacularly failing to get a damned good picture of Sasquatch? Well, there is always the possibility that the Squatch doesn’t exist, so getting a photo of him would be a tad tricky.

When it comes to the ordinary folk who “see” Squatch, I have no doubt of the sincerity of most, but the ones I have the greatest issue with are the self appointed and self anointed “experts.” On telly we have the virtually comedic programme that is Animal Planet’s “Finding Bigfoot.” This slice of reality TV wrapped in a cloak of scientific investigation follows the adventures of three idiots and a woman who are travelling all over the USofA trying to find Bigfoot. There’s been thirty odd episodes and the team has not found him yet. How can this be? These are experts! They have credentials……don’t they? Well, do they? The “cast” of this monumental (and I guess lucrative for its’ stars) show is the upper echelon of the BFRO.

The BFRO was formed in 1995 by the ironically named unemployed law-school dropout Matt Moneymaker. Moneymaker’s right-hand man is fourth grade teacher and mellow jazz guitarist, Cliff Barackman. James “Bobo” Fay is the BFRO’s muscle. Bobo is a commercial fisherman and former roadie for the band Sublime. Then we have an actual scientist, Ranae Holland – and she is a skeptic constantly telling Moneymaker that he makes assumptions and draws conclusions that just don’t add up.

To be honest most of his assumptions just don’t add up, especially if you’re a reasoning and sane individual. I think that the problem here is faith and in the case of Moneymaker, Barackman and of course Bobo, this faith is evangelical. Their collective belief that Sasquatch is wandering about in the forests of their homeland means that they take many of the frankly implausible sightings as irrefutable facts. They skew the “evidence” to match their faith. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln “you can fool yourself all of the time.”

And there’s more evidence out there……….

  • A DNA test proved that Bigfoot is a part-human hybrid…and deserves U.S. citizenship!

Texas veterinarian Melba S. Ketchum claimed last November (2012) to have proved via a Sasquatch DNA sample that the legendary apes are partially human. She even went so far as to insist that the government recognize them as “an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights.

  • The government secretly removed burnt Sasquatch corpses from Mount St. Helens after the 1980 eruption.

Following the disaster, a few witnesses reported seeing federal helicopters carrying off the charred remains of several Sasquatches from the area. Prior to the eruption, Mount St. Helens had already been a hot spot for supposed “ape-men” sightings since the 1920s. In fact, so many of these stories were recorded that a nearby gorge was eventually named “Ape Canyon.”

  • Bigfoot is really a caveman.

In 2007, Vancouver Island resident Robert Wilson claimed to have seen “what I thought was a bear. I drove down and saw what I could only describe as a large, hairy man who looked caveman like… with sort of Neanderthal features. As big as a bear, easily.” Expanding on his claim, a 2011 History Channel documentary proposed that “[the] Sasquatch might not be a giant ape at all, but could be a species of prehistoric human.”

  • Bigfoot is really an alien.

Two conspiracies for the price of one! In 1973, Pennsylvanian UFO researcher Stan Gordon said he noticed an increase in sightings of Sasquatches entering and exiting extraterrestrial vessels.

  • Bigfoot is really a giant ground sloth.

While most “experts” believe the Sasquatch to be some form of shaggy primate, a few have opined that these beasts are actually surviving giant ground sloths.
Sasquatches occasionally sodomize domestic cows.
Animal-on-animal bestiality is far from uncommon. Accordingly, more than a few farmers claim to have witnessed male Bigfeet (which is the plural of Bigfoot) getting intimate with some unfortunate bovines.

  • Sasquatches appear in the Bible.

A few modern creationists have argued that the giants briefly mentioned in the book of Genesis were actually early Bigfeet.

  • 10 percent of Sasquatches might be gay.

Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman recalls having once “lightheartedly wondered aloud if 10 percent of the Bigfoot population, matching the figures we have on Homo sapiens, might be gay.”

  • Sasquatches bury their dead.

One of the most jarring questions for cryptozoologists is: “If Sasquatches are real, why don’t we ever find their bodies?” Many believers argue that, not unlike modern elephants, the elusive apes actually bury their dead.

  • The government captured a live Sasquatch in 1999.

In 1999, a number of simultaneous fires ravaged Battle Mountain, Nevada. An injured Bigfoot was supposedly spotted in the carnage before being whisked away by government officials for treatment.

  • Bigfoot calls have been documented and can be easily mimicked.

Believers feel that Bigfoot calls are diverse and distinctive, as evidenced in Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot series.

Do you watch Finding Bigfoot? I do, in fact I’ve watched every episode from all 3 series. And I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark at something about the next series – let’s see how close I come. Each episode will begin with a review of a grainy video of a blob. The team will talk to the filmer of the blob. Matt will tell them blob it was a sasquatch. One of the 4 will camp out where the blob was filmed. The team will have a town meeting where locals will claim they, too, have seen blobs. The episode will conclude with the team going out at night in the area and shouting and banging on trees. The team will then conclude that the area is squatchy,but will still have bugger all in the way of evidence.

Bobo is an expert field caller. What is an Expert field caller? Exactly how does one become an Expert Sasquatch field caller? What qualifies you as an expert? The singular ability to call Bigfoot, and never, ever have one show up?

So what is the purpose does of pseudo scientific investigations carried out by the BFRO, and I’m not just talking about the fab 4 here, I’m talking about all of the members. It certainly gets them out of the house for long walks in the forests. It encourages them to learn a fair amount about photography and camping. It gets them off their Playstations and X-Boxes and away from computers – until they come home to write up their investigations and post them on their blogs that no one reads (a bit like this one)

So, in my opinion searching for Sasquatch is not a bad thing to do with your weekends, there are worse ways to spend your time…..

Ciao For Now,

Denbow

P.S.

I still think that most of the sightings are hoaxers in ghillie suits…..

P.P.S

This is a movie costume used in the film “The Ghost Of Echo Mountain”

P.P.P.S.

This is an apparently real photo of ol’ Squatch (yeah right)

Some material in this piece came from these sources :

http://adamgreene.tumblr.com/post/16205980620/7-things-that-wont-be-found-on-the-animal-planet-tv

http://theweek.com/article/index/241225/11-crazy-bigfoot-conspiracy-theories

 

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Responses

  1. Bigfoot is real. Bobo is one for christ sake!

  2. […] Rest of the Article […]

  3. I’m pretty sure I saw one at Matrix Court once 😉
    Love this post btw. I never knew about the gay ones!

    • Becky you really need to watch a few episodes…..Discovery Animal Planet amongst others


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