Posted by: docdenbow | May 19, 2013

Lighting A Match To See If There’s A Gas Leak


There are days when I have a lot to say in terms of writing on my blog. The past week has not seen any of those days happen. That’s not to say I haven’t been writing. I have spent the last week or so trying to knock a “performance piece” into shape and after an initial flying start seem to have lost my way a little as my mind keeps wandering away from the fantasy world of creating fiction back to reality with a resounding crash. Not that what I’m writing is fantasy as such, it’s more a play(let) with just two performers, one of whom is silent, or has uttered so much much as a word five or so minutes in. Interesting, eh? Well no possibly not, but I am trying to write a character here who is not based almost in its entirety on me, or a version of me. So yes, it is a bit of a challenge. This is going to take some time.

Away from fiction writing, did any of you see The Apprentice the other night? I only caught the last twenty minutes or so, but the product offered by the women’s team absolutely beggared belief. I had to check that it wasn’t 1st April or Comic Relief Does The Apprentice. How can these “experienced businesswomen” and “entrepreneurs” think that a plastic box on wheels was anything even remotely approaching a good idea. It wasn’t even a bad idea. It an idea of the same proportions as lighting a match to see if there’s a gas leak. I normally wouldn’t watch The Apprentice as I don’t watch reality shows except Finding Bigfoot, Storage Wars, Storage Wars Texas, Pawn Stars, Cajun Pawn Stars, Hardcore Pawn and one or two other shows like those. Reality shows are for the terminally stupid who do not have a life. This episode of  The Apprentice was compelling for all of the wrong reasons and the second highlight after the viewing of the plastic box was watching allegedly intelligent women hurling insults at an ever increasing volume. Pure joy as it’s nice to see such female solidarity. Germaine Greer would be so proud.

But, next, next Oh, it wasn’t so tragic……………an old man has retired and not before time ……………But, next, next. Oh, it wasn’t so tragic…………… that a pretty footballer has retired and not before time. Yet these two insignificant pieces of “news” filled my screen to such an extent that even switching channels was futile.Even if The Queen abdicated she’d surely get less coverage than Suralex and Beckham. Who gives a toss? Not me for sure, he’s been over the hill for years. Am I just a miserable old git just like Suralex or am I the voice of reason as there are far more important things in the world than the retirement of a, albeit successful, football manager. All I have to say is bah!!!!

What else has been filling my screen? I cannot say Eurovision has, I consider it to be an abomination of non-entertainment where it appears the United Kingdom parades one has been or never will be after the other in an attempt to public ridicule the unfortunate contestant. I have to say that this attempt seems to be consistently successful unlike the efforts to win this monument to appalling taste and the plaudits that accompany it. Again it may be that I fail to understand camp kitsch, then again it may be that I understand it perfectly and that Eurovision is just pure unadulterated crap.

When it comes to television these days, I really don’t seem to have the patience to watch anything that requires more than scant attention. I used to love watching cop shows like Dalziel and Pascoe, A Touch Of Frost and others in that same vein. I watched a bit of Broadchurch, but found it so convoluted that I never went back to watch all of the episodes that had been recorded. I did like Endeavour, but I’ve seen the last 15 minutes of practically every one in the series so…….

What I do need to watch all the way through is the brilliant A Touch Of Cloth starring John Hannah and Suranne Jones. This was shown on Sky 1 and a second is currently in the pipeline. It’s an absolutely brilliant parody of the British TV cop show. I only saw 15 minutes so I think tonight should be the night to watch it all and see DI Jack Cloth disintegrate under the pressure

It’s a delicious spoof with such backdrops as DI Cloth and his new partner Anne Oldman – whose name isn’t pronounced like Gary Oldman’s, but rather old man, as in a pensioner – soon find themselves at Rundowne Estate, investigating the murder of an old man (“He’s never been found dead before so this is out of character”).

This is true telly

Ciao For Now

Denbow

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Responses

  1. ITS’ great correct punctuation Doc 🙂

    • Yes you are correct, but writing as much as I do the odd slip up is inevitable

      It’s difficult sometimes


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