Posted by: docdenbow | January 1, 2013

Why Waste Your Life On Conspiracy Theories?

I love a good mystery. I’m also partial to the odd conspiracy theory here and there. Nothing too wild and wacky, I’m not a complete nutjob or wacko. It’s just that certain things that have happened have puzzled me and sometimes I found the official “truth” a little difficult to believe. As a result I have spent far too much time reading the theories and purported facts of nutjobs and wackos, so much so I have entered the realms of nutjob or wacko-dom myself.

Take my past obsession with the assassination of the 35th President of the USA John Kennedy. I don’t really remember when this all started but when but I saw a book in the library called Six Seconds in Dallas ; A Micro-Study of the Kennedy Assassination by Josiah Thompson and read it, I was immediately hooked and entered into the world of “Black Ops,” Cuba, the Mafia and God knows what else. In the following years I devoured book after book after book and watched documentary after documentary and even Oliver Stone’s myopic movie. I have seen Zapruder’s film more times than I have cleaned my teeth, looked with inexpert curiosity (and “knowledge” and “truths” supplied in whatever book I was reading at the time) at the autopsy photographs. To what end? What was I hoping to achieve? Was a Black Country lad going to solve the conundrum that was the murder of a President? I wrote in November 2011 that an investigation by the National Geographic channel had really put the handcuffs on Lee Harvey Oswald and with that my curiosity came more or less to an end. A nutjob and wacko really did shoot the President. End of story. As a coda to this I watched a demonstration by Penn and Teller that illustrated the head can jerk backwards when hit by a bullet from the rear.

Bollocks to “Back and to the left” Mr. Oliver Stone.

I have also been sceptical in the past about the moon landings, reading all the theories, the assertions and the scientific explanations why manned flight to that barren desolate rock in space was impossible – unless you intend killing the crew. All the stupid ideas about movie props and rocks labelled with letters to show where they were meant to be placed. Thing is, if you wish to debunk the hoax it’s simple. If they faked it don’t you think the ever watchful Russians (at the height of the Cold War) would have said something? So that conspiracy of fakery for me starts and ends right there and as such it’s a non-starter.

Then we come to 9/11. Yes 9/11, that horribly terrifying day when I thought as I watched the carnage of the smoking North Tower, and the South Tower hit before my eyes on live TV, that WW3 was about to start. I think for my generation that this is the Kennedy, Elvis, Lennon moment (the where were you when you heard or saw) multiplied by several million. Nobody who looked on at the news coverage could feel anything but disbelieving horror at what they saw. It was apparent (to me at least) that people, yes people like you and me, were in those skyscrapers and a number were jumping to certain death. I cannot begin to imagine the horror of what was happening in the World Trade Center Towers after those planes hit that made these souls leap. 2,753 people died in and around those Towers that day, 2,753, just think of that for a moment. Each one of those 2,753 were fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, nephews and nieces, lovers and friends. More than ten years on those left behind are still recovering.

This recovery is not helped by some individuals.Take Tania Head for example. Tania Head claimed that she was on the 78th floor of the South Tower (WTC 2) when United Airlines Flight 175 hit that floor. Trouble is she wasn’t. This woman was/is a pathological liar who managed successfully to hijack the victim support group networks in the same way as the planes hijackers took control of those aeroplanes. Can you imagine the pain that this vile woman caused to real survivors? Then I must mention Dylan Avery. Now here we have a perfect example of why a teenager with a laptop is dangerous. He compiled “evidence” from nutjobs and wackos about all manner of “facts” about 9/11 and what did he do with his “evidence?” He made a film. In “Loose Change” he asserts with f*ck all in the way of evidence that the man behind the attack was not Osama Bin Laden. He plumped for, as the mastermind behind the attacks, none other than George W. Bush. Apparently young Dylan’s balls have dropped in recent years and he has “toned down” some of his wilder claims. He now thinks that orchestrating the attacks was beyond the scope of the Bush administration. However, he still believes that the government had enough foreknowledge of the attacks to have been able to prevent them. Yeah right. Dylan forgets that the attack on the World Trade Center was not about Bin Laden, Bush or even Mohammed Atta, it was about the people who died and their friends and families. I think with the insensitivity of youth Dylan forgot this and about all of the potential pain his fame may bring.

With the assassination of JFK, the Apollo moon landings and 9/11 there is tangible evidence that these events happened, films and photographs for example, so to a point the human psyche looking for reasons for the events and conspiracies is quite understandable even if the conclusions are wrong or even nonsensical. I think that one of the reasons for the proliferation of conspiracy theories is that researchers have been approaching the subject of their investigation in the wrong way. They have tended to see conspiracy theories first and foremost as and do their best to make the evidence fit. You can easily parallel this to the search for in North America for the Sasquatch A.K.A Bigfoot.

I have previously on this blog written in rather pisstakingly (is that a word?) terms about Discovery’s programme “Finding Bigfoot” and how those “experts” (apart from Ranae) take even the slightest bit of “evidence,” which is usually a sketchy eyewitness report of a Squatch as proof positive that the area is alive with ten foot tall hairy bipeds. These chaps on FB believe in the existence of the Squatch in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary they find even the most far fetched evidence credible. Mind you for the largest part I don’t mind these folks as the FB programme is up there with the best of unintentionally funny programmes. What I do object to is that the self appointed expert and head of the grandiosely named Bigfoot Field Research Organization cons people out of huge amounts of money to take them yomping through the woods a-screaming and a-calling.

Anyway just what are Matt Moneymaker’s qualifications? The same goes for Bobo and Cliff Barackman, how did they manage to get a slice of the action? Hey guys any chance of cutting me a slice? I’ll search Wales, ok guys?..Guys?

To move on a bit, as I’ve already implied earlier I’m a sort of trainee nutjob and wacko and as a result I’ve been scouring the world wide t’internet and reading up on the Squatch. What I have found is that any photographic or video evidence is really mucho dubious and as we lack things like a Squatch cadaver, hairs and such like (the footprints are well dodgy) proving the existence of said Squatch is going to be a long painstaking process.

Yet, wait a mo’, a DNA expert by the name of Dr. Melba S. Ketchum could know the answer. She apparently is a DNA expert at DNA Diagnostics Inc. in Texas. She claims to have sequenced a Squatch DNA sample and concluded that some unknown big monkey shagged an unknown human female 15,000 years ago (was that on a Wednesday or Thursday?) and the upshot is a Sasquatch. Now I’ve taken a look at the DNA Diagnostics website Here (which has been up and down like a tarts’ knickers in the past few days) and to me it’s so transparently fake that this whole DNA thing can only be a magnificent attempt at a hoax. Even that doyen of real news The Daily Mail ran with it, have a look it’s hilarious.

If Dr. Melba S. Ketchum can come with some scientific evidence and proof that she didn’t buy her Doctorate of t’internet and not some wild nutjob or wacko claim then she may have indeed have made a real breakthrough. You really think she has? Nah, me neither.

Then we come to films and photos. Even the infamous Patterson Gimlin film looks well iffy to me, I’m no expert but it just doesn’t “feel” right.

See what I mean? But in its’ favour it is pretty clear, whether it shows a man in a monkey suit or a real Squatch who knows? My bet is a man in a monkey suit but if one a day a real Squatch is found then this could well turn out to be real. Yet in all of the years since this film there has not been one clear piece of photographic evidence moving or otherwise of a Squatch. Then in February 2012 Melissa Hovey (dunno who the hell she is) produced a clear colour photograph of the rear of a Squatch taken on a remote movement activated camera. I found it Here

Crap isn’t it? Oh, by the way I’ve linked to the picture as it’s apparently copyright. (Yawn!) Mind you crap as it is some Squatch experts got dead excited, this is the real deal they thought.

Erm well no. It’s a movie costume. Have a look here, Costume

Bad luck Squatchers close, but no cigar.

Finally my friends, if the there only two things certain in life – death and taxes then I offer to you further certainties, there will always be a night investigation on Finding Bigfoot and Bobo will always believe and in 2013 no one will find Bigfoot.

Ciao For Now




  1. A nice post. I have myself read many conspiracy theories about 9-11, JFK and the moon landings and they are all bollocks. As you have explained here mate it would have been easy for Russia to discount the moon landings as I’m sure they would have monitored the entire NASA trip, JFK was so obviously shot from the Texas Book Depository (and I’ve actually been to the site where he died and had a snoop around the 6th floor museum and looked from the position the shot was fired) and anyone who thinks America killed nearly 3000 of its own people with civilian aircraft just to start a war is clearly mentally ill, especially when you consider no one died when war with Iraq was declared – the USA didn’t need a reason to go to war with anyone, and still don’t!

    As for bigfoot, I did watch a couple of episodes of that show the other day after you mentioned it on Twitter and I felt all of the evidence was very dodgy. Even if Bigfoot does exist the lack of any credible evidence will always make the entire thing a hoax. And when you look at the amount of time people have been looking for Bigfoot never once has a single dead body, genuine scat or fur or blood been found and tested. Eyewitness testimony is truly awful most of the time and has been proven in pscyhological tests by people much cleverer than us. But I did enjoy it and enjoyed Bobo, it was entertaining if a little silly.

    Nice post mate. Keep ’em coming!


  2. With just about everyone now walking around with the ability to take photographs and video at a moment’s notice, the evidence to back up UFO sightings, alien abductions, the Loch Ness Monster, and other questionable claims is going to have to get a lot better. That Bigfoot video isn’t even a good try.

    Great post, Doc.

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