Posted by: docdenbow | November 21, 2012

Bring Me The Head Of Roman Abramovich

So here we go on the football merry go round in the Premier League again. Roberto Di Matteo has been fired by Chelsea after a run of “poor” results. Roman Abramovich really ought to think about getting his name changed to something more appropriate, Vlad The Impaler springs to mind as he loves spiking managers. In the 10 or so years he’s been the owner of Chelski we have seen the dismissal of no less than 8 managers. Nearly all have arrived at Chelsea with an impeccable track record of winning stuff but all in Abramovich’s eyes have failed.

These managers remind me of the Lost Boys, figures who will forever haunt the corridors and cubby holes of Stamford Bridge. Just look at the list of Lost Boys who Abramovich has consigned to the dustbin as being not good enough.

Claudio Ranieri
José Mourinho
Avram Grant
Luiz Felipe Scolari
Guus Hiddink
Carlo Ancelotti
Andre Villas-Boas
Roberto Di Matteo

Now Abramovich has appointed Rafa Benitez until the end of the season, and he can then join another in the ever growing line of sacked Chelsea managers.

All of these chaps are good managers so why does Abramovich sack them. I think it’s a combination of things. The main one being is that he’s childish. He puts me in mind of a spoilt brat running to his Mommy to cry and scream that the big boys aren’t letting him win. Winning is something he’s used to in his business life, he seems to misunderstand that football is different.

The second reason is that I am certain that many players are signed because Abramovich wants them, and what Abramovich wants he must get. The classic case in point is Fernando Torres. He was bought for £50,000,000 to invigorate a Chelsea team and help take them to new heights. Well, his form at Liverpool had taken a dip before he left and I think that the Liverpudlians were glad to see the back of him. He was bought to replace Didier Drogba in Abramovich’s mind. What does the Soviet footballing genius get? He gets a striker for whom the term “Couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo” was invented.

In that sense Abramovich is like my “hero” Mark Hughes. Like Abramovich ol’ Sparky likes to buy any old tat he sees, and the more millions they cost the better. Team not playing well, get some players in. It’s a simple way of running a club if there’s plenty of lolly floating around and if splashing the cash doesn’t work you can always sack the manager.

Gulp! Sparky is the manager.

Now in any sane situation Mark Hughes would be getting his P-45 over his managerial ineptitude this season. However, Mark Hughes has apparently told Queens Park Rangers’ board members he will not walk away from the club after he was asked to resign as manager. Mark Hughes would not resign because if he did he would likely lose quite a lot of money, £5,000,000 has been bandied about as the figure QPR would have to pay see the back of him. So he ain’t going to resign, right?

To my way of thinking this is where the moral bankruptcy of football is brought into sharp focus. In any other walk of life if you’re rubbish at your job, your performance is having a detrimental affect on the business it’s out you go. Toodle pip and bugger off, there’s the door. With football it’s more a case of off you go and here’s £5,000,000 for your troubles. What sticks in my throat is the simple fact that even as a Wolves fan, I loved watching QPR as a kid. Stan Bowles and co. lit up MOTD in a way that no other team ever could. It’s so sad to see them in the position they’re in because of one man’s incompetence and his unwillingness to step aside admitting another manager may do a better job and have some small hope of keeping them in the Premier League.

QPR don’t be loyal to Hughes, he wouldn’t be loyal to you and get legal advice as you may be able to sack him for gross incompetence as he clearly is no football manager. Gross incompetence means he would forfeit his golden handshake (I hope) and you could ask Harry Redknapp to try to save you.

Ciao For Now


p.s. Sparky could go to Chelsea as he could make a few quid for a short stay there before he gets fired.


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