Posted by: docdenbow | October 18, 2012

A Sideways Swipe at Fashion


Fashion is a bit of a bitch. A terrible tendency to trip to town to empty our bank accounts on tat just because it’s the latest fad or fashion. Everything is about fashion. Cars, clothes, music, interior design, hairstyles – you name it, it’s all got fashion wrapped in there somewhere. Even if you don’t succumb to the latest offerings from the fashionistas you’ll still get trapped, ensnared, pulled into the insidious world of fashion. If you get it right, or even wrong, you become retro. Ahh, retro, what a concept that is. A load of bollocks if you ask me. Of course you can go retro and look a real twat. Long centre parted (greasy ish, unkempt cos you’re not worth it) hair, a knitted multi coloured tank top, denim (Brutus natch) Oxford bags and platform boots is not a good look even if you are going retro style. Especially not if you can top it off with that essential bum fluff moustache and make yourself stink via the liberal splattering of Brut 33.

Another thing that puzzles me is this stuff about laminate wood look flooring. We spend days wandering around B and Q, Wickes and Homebase, even scouring the internet searching and pondering and eventually picking an expensive product that is specifically designed to make you look as if you can’t afford to buy a decent bloody carpet. Then having inexpertly linked and locked this abomination into place, you head off to Carpetright or Next to spend a small fortune on a rug that manages to cover up most of the rickety bowing cardboard planks that you’ve laid.

This then leads on to the chucking out of your Dyson vacuum cleaner as it’s the wrong colour and doesn’t have a ball to help negotiate the tight bends in your front room. Besides it has an automatically adjusting head that is designed for different heights of flooring. I’m missing something here I think because I have never considered the cornering ability of a vacuum cleaner to be that important. It’s not a Formula 1 car is it? Do you see Lewis Hamilton going backwards and forwards at the Curva Parabolica at Monza trying to pick up a straggly bit of fluff? No you bloody don’t. His car is designed for cornering and any old vacuum cleaner is designed for picking up fluff. The cornering ability of a vacuum cleaner shouldn’t come into it, but it does.

Laminate flooring has done one good service to humankind though. It got rid of this silly bitch.

I think fashion is largely an excuse by marketing men to get us (the great unwashed) to part with our cash. Some pillock on the TV or some idiot fashion designer comes up with some outrageous idea and manages to sell it to the multiple retail industry. We the consumers end up conning ourselves into thinking these things whatever they may be are not only nice but also essential to our happiness. As a result we spend, spend and spend again on stuff we don’t need and if we really think about it, don’t really want. As a result of this a lot of our older possessions end up in landfill, charity shops or consigned to the attic. When will we learn?

There are exceptions to the rule though. The Fender Stratocaster, the Gibson Les Paul, Levi 501s. Then there’s the original Volkswagen Beetle, the “proper” Mini, the E-Type Jaguar. all design classics and just as desirable today as they ever were. I guess you could lump The Beatles into this as well as their music influenced a generation and continues to do so 50 years after the 1st single was released.

Mentioning The Beatles, there are people around today who are at the top of their game, but who will remember them in 50 years time? These people, and I’m sure you know to whom i’m alluding are all just “wannabes,” some perhaps have got fame and fortune but will in future times will be greeted with a collective sigh of “Who?”marilyn

I wonder if there is an icon of today who will remain as loved and remembered 50 years after her death as Norma Jean Baker?

Goodbye Norma Jean

Ciao For Now

Denbow

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Responses

  1. Get me a time machine and a packet of three…..


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