Posted by: docdenbow | July 10, 2012

The Story Of My Blog – If Anyone Really Gives A Shit

I have been writing this blog for just over a year now. When I started I can’t remember what my expectations were, but I do remember why I started. I wanted to write regularly on a whole variety of topics as they entered my head to hone what skills that I may have as a writer so that I could put those to use and to the test by either completing a “work in progress” novel or to write a new novel from scratch.

I really didn’t expect anyone to every read what I’d written on this blog, and I would have perfectly content to muddle along getting a few hits a month as I was blogging essentially for myself and no one else. My hit count exceeded my expectations and pretty quickly I was getting 300+ a month and I was really pleased. Over the past few months it has grown and the monthly figures have on occasions exceeded my wildest dreams.

Now to get to the crux of what I’m writing about. It seems that most of my posts are read by 10 to 20 folks, some of whom leave comments. I have absolutely no idea who the ones are who don’t leave comments, perhaps they are spam bots – I don’t know. Perhaps the search engines are picking me up – well my nom de plume is easy to find on Google so I guess that helps. One thing I really do know is what seems to drive traffic to my site. So fellow struggling bloggers I am willing to share the secret of picking up 4516 hits in just over 6 months. It is really quite simple.

Write opinionated stuff which makes anybody who reads it think that you’re a complete and utter knobhead and do it often. After all there’s very little point in people thinking that you’re a knobhead if you don’t continually prove it day in day out and week in week out. That’s all there is to it.

I’ve written about Wolverhampton Wanderers and shoved links on a couple of forums and picked up loads of hits from people who took great delight in pointing out that –

a) I don’t know shit about football and Wolverhampton Wanderers in particular
b) I’m a knobhead
c) That’s about it

Now if my blog was all about getting hits (which essentially it isn’t – I just want people to read what I write, there is a difference) I’d continue to write stuff about Wolves, get hits and be called a knobhead. But that’s not what I’m about. I try from time to time to write stuff that is humourous and, dare I say it, funny? Sometimes a piece may be good, other times the piece may be shit. It’s difficult for me to judge what is funny and what is not, mainly because what I write I think IS funny but I guess from time to time people miss the humour that I’m trying to convey.

Where I am envious of truly skilled writers (which I don’t believe that I am) is that they have the skill, technique, vocabulary and indeed word power to put across sarcasm, humour and even irony via the printed word. Think of the little phrase –

“That’s great isn’t it.”

Depending on how those 4 words are uttered I can thinking immediately of at least 3 ideas that those 4 words can put across. That’s what I mean about the difficulty in writing something that you think is funny. If someone reads it, it can come across as really nasty, supercilious and with a condescending attitude. BUT when spoken, especially by either the author or someone who truly understands what the author is trying to say, those self same words can come alive and be funny – or not as the case may be. Perhaps it is easier to write a screenplay than it is to write a novel or even a short story,because all the dialogue would then be spoken, and the correct ideas are put across.

Since I started I’ve made 133 posts. Some are truths based on lies, some are lies based on truths, some are open honest and very truthful, some are soul searching. I went through a period of pondering where my past and youth had disappeared to. I’ve been a bit hippy-drippy and I think like a lot of men and women I’ve gone through my mid life crisis and i am now emerging again back into the light.

Perhaps it’s also time to set aside this blog and move on in life as the only time people read and comment on what I write is when I actually write what is considered to be bigoted bollocks or express my real opinions about sport and beloved Wolves. Perhaps this blogging lark is an exercise in futility. Strikes me as a bit like a tree falling in a forest. If there’s no one there does it make a noise? Well actually it doesn’t – check that out for yourself. What I mean is that it’s a bit like a black cat in a coal mine, if you can’t see it does it need to be there? Or even is it there? Does it matter if it’s there and you can’t see it? Does it matter to the cat?

It does seem there are more questions than answers here.

So what to do? Plough on regardless for my own amusement? Get another blog and just write about one subject? If I did that what would the subject be? Well, I know bugger all about anything that’s interesting and I’m too old to learn. So that’s a no-no. I think I’ll carry on as I am. If anyone reads my blogs I’d like them to comment so dialogue can be established. I want to try to be provocative and funny, thoughtful and insightful. In a word entertaining If I succeed on just one of these levels I’ll be pleased.

Finally to wrap up, I wish that some of the people who posted comments about a recent posting would just click around this ‘ere blog and read some of the older postings and they then may realize that

a) I’m a knobhead
b) I am pretty open, honest and intelligent – so read the post from September 11 2011 and comment on that, ok girls (and boys)

Ciao For Now





  1. Hey Den, don’t give up writing your blog. I enjoy redding it and find some parts funny and interestin,, especially the one you wrote a few months ago about your driving and the support (or lack of it) you get from your nearest and dearest. Another reason I think you should keep it going I’d that its something great for you to look back on and be proud of in years to come. Keep up the good work, I love to read it

  2. Well, I got slagged off about a post I did about Ann Summers parties and really thought why bother? I was joking ….. these people could not see that………….

  3. If you give up blogging I’ll be very disappointed, but who the hell am I? I’m guilty of not always commenting but I do always read. I don’t rely on my WordPress Reader to update me of recent posts because I can go a day or three without logging on. I have a blog folder in my favourites and I check them all out when I’m online and I always read them and you’re one of them. I’m like you, I get very few hits these days, I think the recession has hit the internet sometimes but I write for one reason, because I want to. It’s my voice speaking and people can read it or not. I’ll blog when I’m getting no hits at all, like you say, it’s good practise to write regularly on various topics that grab your attention… just make sure you write offline too. Use the blogging experience to improve your writing and keep trying to write a novel or what ever it is you want to write. Oh yeah, you’re not too old to learn new stuff, you’re just a stubborn old git! That’s OK, we all end up the same – a stubborn old git.

    But only give up your blog when you don’t like writing anymore, or you feel you’ve got nothing left to say. That’s an inevitable end to any blog. But don’t quit because your hit count and comments are down. That’s defeatist, and you aint a defeatist. If you were you’d have never written 130+ posts. A lack of hits is just the internets way to try and make you roll your sleaves up and blow us all away with your next post! 🙂

    Take it easy mate,


  4. PS – You are funny. I enjoy reading your blog mate and I would miss it if you fucked it off.

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