Posted by: docdenbow | June 4, 2012

Why Television Makes Me Wanna Puke

Television, I think I watch too much of it. For me it stifles the imagination. Ruins creativity. Well it does for me anyway. A good deal of “popular” television is just there, doing little or very little to inform, educate and entertain, which incidentally is the cornerstone of the BBC’s charter. Inform, educate and entertain? Personally that this inform, educate and entertain doesn’t fall into the Strike 1, Strike 2 and Strike 3 category. To a very large extent I see the providers of television entertainment as institutionally inept. Were it not for the way that TV provision is an oligopoly in the UK I would be saying “piss or get off the pot,” but as it is there’s nothing that we as citizens and television viewers can do about it. We either put up with the tripe that is broadcast to inform, educate and entertain and fall deeper and deeper into the sewer that is ignorance or we do the unthinkable – get a life.

I can speak with bitterness as to how the sinister glow of the television set has seduced me and ruined my life. Without television I know that in many ways that I would be a better person. A better rounded individual. More erudite, more considered, more capable. I certainly would be better read. I would certainly be a better guitarist. I would have a wider and a better appreciation for music, and who knows art. I’d be capable of DIY and may even have become a keen gardener and allotment holder. I’d know things, things that extend beyond a phoney world presented to me by The Electronic Fireplace. OK, so although without my knowledge of ephemeral television programmes I’d be shit at pub quizzes, I’d learn to live with it.

I’m not unintelligent, but like any others my brainpower and intellect has been and is being sucked away bit by bit by the obsequious power of the television set. As if to show its’ increasing dominance of our society the actual televisions themselves are growing and growing in size and shouting ever louder “look at me,” “look at me!” and look at it we do. Look at all of the epic, atrocious things it shows. Look at the false images of the world where everyone is happier, better looking and have got it made. Or they’re fat, unhappy, even suicidal and devoid of any spark of life.

Most “entertainment” programmes have neat happy endings and the performers in so-called are a succession of back slapping poseurs who are so devoid of any true personality that they have to rely on “writers” to compose one for them. People earning a fortune for reading other peoples’ words buckling under the “pressure” of fame.

“I had to immerse myself into the role of a serial killer, so thanks to my wife for her support. I must’ve been difficult to live with.”

That crap above (not necessarily verbatim) came from the mouth of Dominic West when he picked up a BAFTA for playing Fred West in some TV play thing.

Do me a favour! You’re a fucking actor! Act!! You don’t play “let’s pretend” and go off slaughtering the innocent. You portray a character, real or fictional. So at the end of the day go home to your family take the dog for a walk and go to bed. Learn to act!!

Like the puppets in “Team America – World Police” actors and entertainers shove their inconsequential simplistic and frankly puerile opinions at us (as if I care what a drummer in a shit band actually thinks) pleading for charitable donations when they’ve visited the world’s worst places in term of social deprivation and then when they arrive back at Heathrow after a First Class flight they all piss off to their country estates in their Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Porsches and Bentley’s. It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach.

May I suggest that it should make you sick too?

Having ranted and raved about television, especially actors and “light entertainment” I feel that I should redress the balance somewhat with regards to what is actually good about television.I could write just 2 words “fuck all” but that would not be strictly true – at least I would not be being honest and true.

There are many programmes that I do almost religiously watch and I watch them without trying to be “post ironic” (whatever that may mean) I have given far too many hours to Dog The Bounty Hunter, amazed at Duane’s tailored made to fit himself style of Christianity. One minute he’ll be bellowing…….

“Hit the fucking floor, get fucking down or we’ll mace you” (or something pretty similiar)

The next moment Dog (Duane) will have the suspect in a circle holding hands with his family and giving thanks to the Lord for delivering them all safely to the conclusion of the day’s business and extending the olive branch of help to the usually ice (smokable methamphetamine) addicted criminal.

See I have watched it too many times.

Likewise Family Guy and American Dad that are shown on BBC3 at about 11:00 every night. I get back from work, pop my Epilim and Lamictal down my throat (I suffer from epilepsy) and sit down in front of the television to watch episodes that I’ve seen 3, maybe 4, maybe more times before. I know I’ve seen them so why do I persist? Stupidity on my part I guess. Yet all of the time these programmes are on I could be watching something I’ve recorded on the TiVo or on the V+ box. I never seem to though. No, I sit on the sofa with my phone at my side perpetually checking how many hits I’ve had on my blog. Dumb or what? I then drift off to bed, knackered, at about 1:00 a.m. having wasted about 2 hours when I could have been reading or watching something decent on television. It would be too late to listen to music, so that’s a no no as is strumming the old Strat (copy)

If I just stick to television there’s a wealth of stuff that I could have recorded to watch. So take your pick. It could be anything in the television schedules that’s been recorded so imagine the potential choice. Then you’ve got the factual channels, Discovery, National Geographic, BBC4, Yesterday and so on. Most of the time most of the programmes are interesting. All of which are more interesting than Dog The Bounty Hunter. Each of these programmes have the potential to inspire you to do something with your life even if it’s only to visit the library to get hold of some books to educate yourself about the subject matter in question. You may even end up on the internet looking at something other than porn – something that will really grab your attention and make you want to learn.

So I really do have to say that television is like alcohol, fine if you savour and choose exactly what you wish to partake in moderation but dangerous if all you’re going to do is glug down pints of Wife-Beater

Ciao For Now




  1. I could have written this mate as it sounds all too familiar. I’ve watched more than one episode of Dog over the last year (the missus loves it!) I often spend the latter part of the evening watching Family Guy and American Dad and checking my phone for Blog stats and tweets. I keep telling myself… once I’ve seen them all five times I’m going to use the 11pm-1am hours every night to write…. it still aint happened. I guess I’m lucky that I have a job where I can steal ten minutes here and there to write a few blog notes, make a few tweets and read a few blogs.

    And I moan about my job too. (I probably shouldn’t. But then why not!)


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