Posted by: docdenbow | March 14, 2012

Sugar Rush, Caffeine Bombs & Moontans

I’ve decided I’m not going to write about the Wolves for a bit. It really does make me unhappy to even think about the mess the team are in. True they’re in the Premier League and have okay to stay there for the last couple of years, but they haven’t kicked on to help themselves survive or improve.

Drone, drone, moan, drone, drone, whinge.

So I’ve resolved to blog about something else today. I seem to keep returning here to the same old themes of CSI Miami, X-Factor, how music was better when I was young and so on and so forth. All pretty introspective and self centred. Well in my opinion – and as it’s my blog my opinion does count – it’s about time that I looked for something fresh to think and blog about so that I don’t end up making myself or anybody else reading this totally miserable.

I could blog about my spiritual enlightenment, the way I have seen “the light.” If I did that I would be being economical with the truth as the only light I’ve seen is this bostin’ torch the wife bought home yesterday. It really does bring to mind Rhod Gilbert’s torch with the power of a million candles. It actually turns a night that’s “Starless and Bible Black” into such brightness that you feel like ripping your clothes off and heading for a sun lounger.

Perhaps I could start a new trend. Lying on a sun lounger in the depths of midwinter trying to acquire a Moontan. No I don’t mean that album by Dutch mega-stars Golden Earring either. I’ve got a 4 CD boxed set of the Dutch masters so why would I want that on record. Oh yes I’ve remembered, it’s the naked girl on the cover.

And here she is…….

Potentially there’s money to be made out of this. Just think of the products I could sell and endorse;

Doc Denbow’s Moon Tan Lotion
Doc Denbow’s Moon Loungers & Garden Furniture
Doc Denbow’s Moon Glasses
Doc Denbow’s Range of protective moonwear, hats scarves.
Doc Denbow’s Energy Efficient Lunar Panels

This list could be endless, but there’s enough possibilities in those 5. I could become a millionaire overnight. (by ‘eck that’s a shit hot pun if I say so myself) and move to moonier climes. I could be surrounded by moontanned lovelies on a moon kissed beach sipping Dandelion and Burdock. What more could an idiot want? Yes I could truly become a “Creature Of The Night,” a badger like being with Dickie Davies hair and a brown bushy tail (Boom! Boom!) Speak in a bad Terry-Thomas impression and refer to everyone as Mr. Whatevertheirfirstnamehappenstobe.

All in all I think I need above all else to consider cutting down on caffeine and sugar.

“Eyes dried tight gotta get myself together
Need a kickstart cocktail,ten percent coffee
With a high rise family size, guaranteed to catonize
The little bit of brain I got a-hanging on from last night”

Ciao For Now



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