Posted by: docdenbow | January 11, 2012

The End Of The DFS Sale

A couple of weeks ago I blogged on this blog (where else?) that 2012 was going to be a resolution free new year for me. Well, I’ve changed mind and I feel I should share my (late) New Years Resolution with you. After much thought here it is;

I am not going to commit suicide this year

Now that not sound much like a New Years Resolution to you but read on. You may recall that to celebrate the start of this year I wrote a little bit about The Rapture and how this bloke named Keith reckoned that all non believers would be in deep shit as God or JC was coming to sort out all of the heathens and heretics on planet Earth and look after the good Christians. Now I was pretty concerned by Keith’s predictions and his hotline to God, especially as I am of the uncommitted sort when it comes to formal religion even though I wear a crucifix and am a  Believer in a way, I think – or maybe not.

Whilst it’s true that I do have my own beliefs I was scared that they weren’t sufficiently devout to ensure I had a place on God and Keith’s spaceship to the stars. Then as then 31st December passed by all around the world without any Rapturing I was mightily relieved that I could live to fight another day and reassess my spirituality and start living a debauched life once again, saying the F word and generally voting Conservative, you know the sort of thing.

Then an article from the online version of the Daily Mail was showed to me by my mate Gaz and it shok me to the very core. It was headed thus:-

“Ready for Doomsday: Buying asteroid-proof bunkers, killing their pets and planning mass suicide, the families convinced this ancient calendar predicts the world will end in 2012”
Given that it was in such an esteemed news source as the Daily Mail I was sent into paroxyms of sheer terror. It seems that these Central American geezers had predicted that the world is due to end on 21st December 2012, and this time there was no bloke called Keith in anyway, shape or form involved.Well the our cousins across the pond have reacted in their usual considered way by apparently bombarding NASA asking if they should kill their pets and checking with SETI for UFOs. On this side of the water us Brits are probably more concerned about who will win win Britain’s Got Talent and the forthcoming Olympics than anything as tedious as Armageddon and the end of life on earth as we know it. Well that’s what we Bulldog Brits do best isn’t it? Ignore important things like the fact parts of this world are in deep do-do’s whilst bankers fret over their bonuses.
Tripping back to this Mayan calendar end of the world thingy got me to thinking. I got to thinking this. If they were so smart as to be able to predict the endgame date of this planet, how come they weren’t smart enough to stop themselves and their civilizations from being largely destroyed? In addition all of these ideas about the Mayan calendars is all down to interpretation. Has anybody thought that whoever was drawing up this future time calendar got bored and went down the pub for a pint and a game of pool? Then forgot to finish it because his wife wanted some shelves putting up? That means if he hadn’t had one over the 8 then the end date may be completely different.
Like I say it’s just a mathematical progression, just like the value of Pi. At school I was taught that it is 3.142. Well using that value you get some pretty good answers about circles, significantly less tedious than 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375103.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510?  So after a certain point numbers get boring and rather meaningless, so perhaps that is the case with this ‘ere Mayan calendar. Anyway, I’ve got no intention of missing out on seeing whats going to happen on 21/12/2012, I want to be there.

A bloke named Carl from London came up with the best reason for sticking around this and not bottling it, and I quote.

“At least if the end is nigh, it will also mean the end of the DFS sale”
– Carl, London, 10/1/2012 3:00

Ciao For Now Harbingers Of Doom

Denbow    x x

p.s. the Daily Mail article was here: The Daily Mayans


  1. There are so many theories as to how & when it all ends.It’s sad that so many cults & gurus seem hell bent on preventing their naive followers from enjoying what ever life span they have.Surely that’s their governments job.
    A wise T- shirt once stated: Shit happens & we all manage to step in it.

  2. Does the History of the Mayan Civilization support their ability to forecast the future? Check this out:

    The Maya Civilization reached its zenith around 1000 AD. Historians have debated what led to their slow decline over the next 500 years but there is no debate that it was the invasion by the Spanish that was the beginning of the true end. From 1521 � 1523 the Maya were decimated by disease brought to their country by the Spanish.
    Estimates run as high as 1/3 their population being wiped out (For me that is hard to believe since they were dispersed booth geographically and governmentally across a vast area). Nonetheless this weakened them considerably and led to their first major defeat at Battle of El Pinal and the subsequent capture of the major city of Utatl�n by conquistadores under the command of Pedro de Alvarado in 1524.

    The Spaniards continued invading and spreading throughout Central America until they took over the final Mayan City of Tah Itz� in 1697.

    Now here is where it gets really, really interesting.

    The Mayan believed that time was cyclical with historical events and political events repeating in cycles, cycles measured by their complex calendar system which featured 20 years (7200 days) as one Katun and 13 Katuns as 256 years. And it is that cycle � 13 Katuns, 256 years that repeats and makes the future [predictable.

    And so it was that when the Spaniards came to conquer Tah Itza that it fell without much of a fight. Because most of the Mayans had fled. They knew this final attack was coming. This invasion came 136 days from the start of Katun 8 (the 8th Katun in the 256 year cycle) and this reflects the Mayan prophecy that this was going to be a cosmologically mandated period of change and upheaval for the Maya.

    So the Mayans own Calendar system predicted a cosmologically mandated period of upheaval for them, and that is exactly what happened. Their final major city fell to the Spaniards. They were vanquished as a civilization.

    So if the Mayans cyclical calendar predicted the time of upheaval around the Spaniards assault on Tah Itza, then who is to say that the Maya Calendar end on December 21 2012 is not predicting the end of the world, the 2012 apocalypse?

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