Posted by: docdenbow | January 7, 2012

I Don’t Know How My Camera Works

In an effort to try and post on this ‘ere blog daily I’m sitting at the the keyboard staring at a blank Google Doc. I have very little to say today.  Today is my youngest daughter’s 21st birthday and I could bore you all senseless with account of our day of celebrations, of how I took 69 photographs on my Fuji S9600 camera (recently acquired). 69 pictures I ask you, we were only in the restaurant for about 90 minutes, so work that out! i was like a proper little paparazzi I was. Did any of the assembled throng of family offer to take a picture of me, the one picking up the bill? Did they hell as like. Fact of life, Dad pays and fades into the background.

So no, I’m not going to drone on about my little girl’s life so far and the trials and tribulations – no that just won’t do. What I intend doing is touching on the effect a half decent camera can have on a face. These days everyone seems to be locked and loaded with a mobile pnone with a camera with an amazing number of pixels. Now the track suited masses think pixels are everything, but, I’m no expert here, the lens is the most important. The lens in this little camera of mine is capable of recording every wrinkle crack and line in even the most attractive face. It also records the poor application of fake tan – ah well who was it that said “My Camera Never Lies” – remember it was Bucks Fizz back in ‘82.

Trouble with this sodding Fuji is that the instruction book runs to just short of 150 pages, most of which you really need to read to get anything like the best out of it. I mean I always thought that most photographers were just nerds who couldn’t draw, now I realize that they all must have Degrees in Exceptionally Difficult Sums in order to use the cameras at their disposal. By the time I’ve worked how to use this damned thing my eyes will have packed up and I won’t be able to see what I’m photographing or the resultant photographs.

That’s the trouble with getting older, your eyes start to wear out. I recently had an HTC Desire S as an upgrade to my phone contract. Great I thought; smartphone – email, internet, GPS and that bollocks. Thing is I can’t see the screen without my reading glasses and if anybody phones me I can’t see the sodding screen to answer the call. My voicemail is usually full of messages like “answer the phone meathead.” I fancy an IPad but I’m waiting for one with 42” screen.

Well, I’m going now to watch more recordings of C.S.I. Miami before I turn in for the night and wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Ciao For Now – Health and happiness to you all



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