Posted by: docdenbow | October 8, 2011

Slack Jawed & Drooling In Front Of A 42” HDTV

In one of my recent postings I skirted around the issue of that lowest form of televisual feast the reality programme. My blog buddy BilstonJay ( took up the baton and ran and ran with it making several excellent points. It did set me thinking, do we as a nation get just what we deserve?

We don’t socialize like we did when I was young, the only visits to pubs and clubs seem to involve power drinking or binge drinking. The end of a typical evening out involves looking sweaty and projectile vomiting whilst attempting to get off with any willing sexual partner. To digress it makes me think of that old adage, “never been to bed with an ugly woman – woke up with loads” and the concept of beer goggles and referring to girls as seven pinters.

It’s just that these days rather than mixing with friends there’s a certain section of society that has no friends and spends their evenings slacked jawed and drooling in front of a 42” HDTV watching piss poor copies of films that they have acquired via the magic of Bit Torrent. All this is done with a 24 pack of lager in fridge and several to hand, oh yes and a vase of wine for the little lady who is at the end of the day wearing the entire Boots No.7 range across her features. Oh yes then there are the obligatory hairstyles. For Monsieur we have the Marine trim, hair removed to a thin layer of stubble. For Madame we have the Domestos blonde expertly hacked into a careworn style by some primitive beast.

Have these sad approximations of humans ever brought life into world and marvelled and felt the joy of seeing a new born baby. I bet they were more impressed when their black Staffie named Tyson (could it be anything else?) did the deed and they got to see the puppies being born. You can get at least £100 for a Staffie puppy, how many slabs of lager will that buy? Or were they both so pleased that the grunting and shoving time was over so that she could spark up a Lambert and Butler and he could go back to his lager and 42” HDTV knowing that in 9 months their income would increase and they may get a bigger council house when the new life joins what is laughingly known as a family?

These days a section of the whole country seems to think that the world owes them a living and they have been dealt a shitty hand in life. When I watch (guilty pleasure) Jeremy Kyle he frequently berates members of this underclass for breeding and then not supporting children but expecting the state to. “Oooooh I can’t work I’m a heroin addict.” this often coming from some youth as an excuse for his crass disregard of some girl he’s impregnated and the resultant child. Well if that’s the case, you my son, should be in jail and not on my TV. In these instances Kyle is spot on and no mistake.

So this brings me back to my original point about reality TV. Is it so popular because we have no friends and no desire to socialize and these programmes act as surrogate friends? Is it because as a whole the populous prefers to spend its hard earned on consumer goods, leather sofas and huge TVs? I think that’s part of it but I think that a lot is down to the people who own and run pubs themselves. Do they really think paying the thick end of a quid to poke some balls around on a grimy pool table or throw some darts at a dog eared dartboard or spend about £19 to play 2 songs on a jukebox is really going to get me out of the house on a freezing night in November when it’s also pissing down?

No it won’t.

The demise of the local pub and the feeling of community that it gave is down really and truly to that beast the publican. This often overweight man would rather line his pockets than to spend a penny of his ample profits on making his pub cleaner and more attractive. It’s no surprise that the one’s that have survived are clean, well furnished and serve food that isn’t in the form of crisps, nuts and scratchings.

In the words of Metallica, “Sad But True.”

Ciao For Now




  1. So true!! I don’t go out too much due to lack of funds but there is some right guff on the tv. Noone seems to read books these days. Perfect example at my daughter’s school. We had a list of books (classics) and we had to name the authors. I was the only parent who knew them all! I was appalled.

  2. I love that VIcki reads this blog too… how random! i love her blog and yours too Docdenbow. 🙂

  3. I might respond to this post too Doc, I’ll let youknow if I do.

    Jay. 🙂

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