Posted by: docdenbow | June 7, 2011

Maybe Go And See A Doctor


I think that I should maybe go and see a doctor. Every couple of months I seem into a black mood where my temper gets short, my tolerance levels become severely curtailed and I feel that I could turn into a the purveyor of a “crime passionnel ” if only I could find something to feel passionate about. I touched upon this in an earlier posting about “epileptic personality,” and I really don’t believe that my medical condition impacts on my personality in any way shape or form. What may do is is the medication that I take.

There is a combined therapy for sufferers of bi polar disorder that includes Epilim (my medication) as a mood stablizer. I am on what I believe to be a high dosage, 2000 mg per day and that has stopped my seizures for 4 years. Has it affected my personality? I don’t know, what I do know that I can get severe bouts of what I call “the miseries” where inwardly I feel very unhappy and have to force myself to go through the motions in daily socialization and make myself mix and appear jolly, which very often I don’t feel.I get accused of not smiling, being miserable, but I’d feel idiotic walking around with an inane grin on my face 24/7.

I’m too socially withdrawn to allow people to let people get close to me as I fear that I may be betrayed or laughed at if I told them how I really feel. So there you have it, I’m insecure, borderline depressed and a proper barrel of laughs.

In finishing got to tell you that I went to see Glenn Hughes at Birmingham Town Hall last week, and got to meet the man.

I will write a fuller account soon,

But

Ciao For Now

Denbow

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