Way back in April I published a post called “I’m Happy In My Own Skin….” and the overwhelming numbers of readers of that piece shocked me. There many very positive comments regarding the ideas that I was trying to convey and I was, it’s more than fair to say, delighted with the responses. Following that post I wrote a few pieces about the perception of nudity, especially in the UK, and went as far as expressing my desire to swim naked. I explained that I’d been in touch with a naturist club about visiting for a day and I do believe that from there I wrote nothing more on nudity or naturism. That was in mid May and nothing that I’ve written to here since makes any reference to naturism or nudism apart from the fact that my feet are stripy thanks to wearing Croc flip flops on my otherwise bare feet in the sun. I’m now sitting at my laptop typing out my thoughts whilst my back, shoulders and chest are itching not through insect bites but because of sunburn.
Before I go much further I have mentioned to a few friends (hello Gaz!) that getting naked for a day intrigued and interested me, I’m pretty sure that he thought that it was just another of my manic whims which have manifested themselves in an “all talk and no action” type scenario. Well, sorry Gaz, this was talk but it was also action and as a result of that I’m seriously thinking of deactivating my Facebook account so that I won’t be tagged in any “humorous” posts that may end up embarrassing and upsetting my family. (They know all about it though.) However, once I’ve completed this I’ll read it back and then decide.
Anyway to get back to the point I spent the biggest part of a week staying with my Mom in the Midlands and had arranged to visit a club on Saturday 19th July. All through the week the weather was good and I was really looking forward to the trip. However, the weather took a horrendous turn for the worse with thunderstorms and torrential rain beating down in the early hours. Just my luck, it was definitely an omen and this day trip just was not meant to be. I made arrangements to go on the Sunday provided that the weather was ok and set off from my Moms at about 10:30 on a warm yet overcast day. The closer I got to this club the less certain I was that this whole enterprise was a good idea. I was about 3 miles away and pulled the car over into a lay-by and took in the weather. I was almost hoping for rain so that I would have an excuse for turning the car around and going back to my Mom’s. However, it was plain to see that the clouds were clearing and the West Midlands was going to get a beautiful sunny day.
I drove on and stopped within about 50 yards of the main gates flicked on the hazard warning lights and reached under my seat where there’s a little drawer and pull out a packet of cigarettes. Feeling not unlike a condemned man I opened the pack and lit my first cigarette in 10 months. I can clearly recall thinking “is this really a good idea” quickly followed by “you’ll regret it if you don’t go in.” this was followed by me saying to myself “you said you wanted to get naked so come on.”
I drove the last couple of yards and rang at the main gate and was quickly invited inside and pointed to a little car park. I grabbed my little bag and went to fill in a form to show who I was. I was asked to show id with my address on and I provided photo card driver’s licence. The chap also took a quick peek at my debit card, cash card and whatever else I offered him. I paid my £7 for a day membership and that’s it I was a temporary member of a naturist club. The chap who signed me in got up from behind his desk dropped his towelling robe over the back of his chair and told me he’d show me around. So we began, me in a tee shirt, shorts and my beloved Croc flip flops and him totally naked. He showed me into the the clubhouse where there was food on offer and a fully licensed bar. He pointed out where the outdoor swimming pool was and then showed me where the toilets and showers were. There was also a sauna and he said that it was not in use; the reason why went straight over my head. He pointed out where I’d be able to find the paths to go into a wooded area for a walk should that take my fancy. My mini tour was over, it probably took about 10 minutes but I really couldn’t tell you the exact time. As we’d strolled around there were several people milling about near their caravans, sitting in the sun or just at a table having a drink.
My guide asked me if there’s anything else that I wanted to know and I said that I couldn’t think of anything. He reassured me that there was no pressure to take my clothes off if I was nervous. Any nervousness I had felt when I was outside of the gate had gone. Besides he said that I went wandering around the site wearing shorts then people would look at me because I’d stand out as not being naked like everyone else. I then realised had forgotten where the swimming pool was so I asked him to point it out to me again and before he could tell me of the “swimming pool rule” I said to him that I knew that if I wanted to use the pool then I’d have to be naked and that I’d looked the club’s website. He left me at this point and I strolled across to a bench took my towels from my bag (one for sitting on and one to use as a towel) kicked off my flip flops, pulled my tee shirt over my head, took off my shorts and that was that – one naked Denbow. I then walked, not run with my hands cupped around my tackle, walked normally to a low gate and onto the paved area that surrounded the swimming pool. It’s only 4 feet deep so jumping in is not really a good idea so I walked down the steps and was in. I had the pool to myself for about 5 minutes then a few people also decided that going into the pool was a good idea. At least I’d had the pool to myself for a few minutes and had got in a few lengths of the pool so I’d achieved my little ambition of swimming naked and it feels so much better to be in the water like that than when wearing a pair of Speedos.
I leaned back at the edge of the pool and watched these people playing some bizarre game the object of which seemed to be to to hit someone with a mini plastic football when they weren’t looking. To be honest I wouldn’t have minded joining in and was about to ask when out of nowhere came one of those wretched balls and smacked me across the face. The girl who’d thrown it was aiming for someone else and he had taken evasive action. That was it revenge was to be mine and suddenly I was in the game. Daft as it may sound it was great fun and everyone including me had enjoyed it. I left the pool first and head back to my bag for a drink of flavoured water that I’d brought me and seeing ashtrays on the tables decided that I’d grab my vapes and my cigarettes. My car was parked some distance away so I grabbed my car keys and set off to grab them. It took 2 or 3 minutes to get to the car park and being a bit dim actually find my car. I pressed the beeper to unlock the car open the door and sat down on the driver’s seat. It was warm, very warm and it was only then that I’d walked across the site naked apart from my croc flip flop and I hadn’t noticed or given it a second thought.
I walked back to where my bag was and decided to have a cigarette. A woman who’d I’d guess was in her late 30s asked me if I was thinking of joining this club and I explained that because I lived so far away then a full membership wouldn’t be worthwhile. She then asked me where I normally went and I told her nowhere and that this was my first visit to a naturist club. She seemed a bit surprised as did her husband when he turned up. They’d been going there about 10 years and absolutely loved the place and when she explained to him that it was my first visit anywhere he was interested to know what I thought.
So I told him what I’d noticed. What I did notice was the fact that I didn’t notice. What I mean is that I didn’t really see masses of naked bodies I saw people and that the people I had spoken with all made eye contact. They didn’t look you up and down, they talked to you, your face and not your body. I couldn’t help but see that there were people of all shapes and sizes front fat to skinny. There were people of all ages from a little boy of about 3 you took great in squirting me with a water pistol to a lady who possibly in her 60s or 70s and every point in-between.
I asked this couple the best route to get to the paths into the woodlands to have a little explore. The husband began to tell me when she got up from her seat and said she wanted to look at my back. I had 2 red marks on my back, fairly raised, and were a bit itchy. She announced almost with pride that they were insect bites and I said I’d been attacked by flying ants. She asked for second a second opinion and I ended up with second, third and fourth opinion that some flying blighters had bitten me. One of them advised me to steer clear of the woods as I be eaten alive because the hot dry weather had brought all manner of little malevolent little beasties. They also reckoned that because I was so pale I’d be the proverbial sitting duck. With that I plonked myself down and then decided to have a cold drink so I headed into the bar I search of alcohol free drink. I decided on a Becks Blue which was served to me by a naked barman!
I had a long chat with a chap who had been a member there for years and he told me about his trips abroad to Spain, The Canary Islands and Croatia and the different attitudes to naturism and nudity on the continent. He asked me where I lived and he explained that there is a decent club closer to home that may be worth checking out. He also said that a naturist day in a water park is brilliant and I can really believe that!
Becks consumed along with 2 pints of water I needed to pee so I headed off to the toilets and shower block building. I wasn’t until I was in there that I realised that I was barefoot so pee completed I thought a quick rinse under the shower was in order. I was only there a matter of seconds when a thought occurred to me. There was a men’s toilet, I never noticed the ladies, but there was only one lot of showers and they were all communal. Makes sense I suppose.
I decided on a last little dip in the pool another Becks Blue and as time was going on I’d have to leave although I really didn’t want to. The atmosphere was so relaxed and the people so friendly that I felt I could’ve stayed there for a lot longer if I could. I grabbed another beer and spoke to a chap in the bar for a bit before I took my drink back into the sun for a final cigarette before dragging my reluctant self away from the best day I’ve had in ages.
As a footnote let’s tell you this. On Sunday’s my Mom normally goes to my Auntie’s for luch and stays until the early evening. I chose not to tell that I was going to spend the biggest part of a day naked with a bunch of strangers as I thought as an 86 year old she’d be disgusted. I came up with some cock and bull story that I was off into the countryside to use my good camera to take some photographs. I also insisted that I was going alone. When I had parked the car I had switched my BlackBerry off and left it in the car. When I was driving back the phone rang and I pulled over into a lay-by to take the call. It was my Mom who said she’d been ringing me all afternoon and was worried that her 55 year old son was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. I told her I’d be with in 15 or 20 minutes which I was. My Mom then subjected me to an intensive questioning session (cue I never expected the Spanish Inquisition) asking me where I’d been etc etc. Initially I told her that I had no intention of telling her but she then asked me if I’d met up with an ex-girlfriend of 35 years ago. I explained patiently that I hadn’t and decided to just tell her exactly where I’d been. When I told her that I had taken day pass to go to a naturist club she looked confused for a moment and asked whether I meant nudist. I said yes except them British tend to say naturism whereas other countries say nudism. She then enquired as to why I didn’t tell her. I gently explained that I thought I’d upset her if I’d told her of my plans. She then said she didn’t mind and asked if I’d enjoyed myself and I told her that it was a great day, the best day I’d had in years.Then came the hammer blow, she looked at me and said,
“I wish you’d told me because then I could have gone down to my sister’s and you could have stayed there as long as you like.”
I guess honesty is the best policy
Ciao For Now